Munachi

|Chapter 27|

I look away first. I bustle about tucking in his bedclothes. When I dare to look at him again, his eyes are closed, and he seems to be asleep. I tiptoe out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind me.

I go out onto the veranda, where my supper is waiting. It's a little cold now, and I eat quickly, my mind agitated. I keep going over and over everything that he'd said this evening. He's obviously used to having his own way I can see that.

I lean back for a moment and watch the last glimmer of light disappear in the western sky.  And the night breeze cooling fast. Perhaps I've allowed myself to daydream a little too much. After all, I'm nursing a handsome man back to health, caring for him everyday, and praying for his recovery. Perhaps it's only natural that I fall a little bit for him. I haven't done it consciously. But I certainly will never allow myself, even in a daydream, to fall in love with him, or any other man again.

Not that I've fallen in love with William, of course, but I do have to admit that I've grown subconsciously attached to him in the last couple of weeks, especially during the long, lonely nights when he was terribly ill. That must be the cause of all these strange feelings that has thrown me off balance this evening. I've been daydreaming too much. Well, it's time to put an end to that.

I have another busy day ahead tomorrow, and I need my strength. And I have things to do tonight before I go to bed. I have letters to write to my church family in Nigeria, explaining my work and how the building for my clinic is coming along. I also have to get my diary up-to-date. I've gotten so behind with my diary lately, what with having William to look after each evening.

Yes, he must go back to Bamenda . . . as soon as possible. I'll get him to give me the address of someone who can send a car down to pick him up. Surely he must have friends somewhere who'll do that for him. I've done all I can for him, and now he has to go.

I finished my dinner and went inside. I work on my correspondence and my diary, and I go to bed. But it's a long time before I fall asleep.
My thoughts wanders to the man in my bedroom. I keep seeing the look in his eyes when I'd walked onto the veranda after I'd changed my clothes. What does the look in his eyes mean? Does he find me attractive?

My heart gives a little skip, and I turn around onto my other side. This is absolutely ridiculous! Even if he does think I look nice, it doesn't matter. I must go to sleep. I close my eyes. But my thoughts begins to wander once more. I see him looking at me again. Those deep blue eyes. I catch the skip in my heart and turn over again. Will I ever fall asleep? The sooner this man leaves, the better.

♣♣♣

I dress, have breakfast on the veranda, and set out to supervise the work on my clinic. I'm tired and irritable from my restless sleep of the night before. When I remember my thoughts about Mr. Constant—yes I've determine to refer to him formally no matter what he says—I'm completely disgusted with myself. What on earth has become of me? It's time to make my thoughts captive to Christ again and focus on the task at hand.

I return striding home at lunchtime with a purposeful bend. I'll quickly eat and lay down for an hour or two. I hesitate for a moment as I come in sight of the veranda. Has Mr. Constant decide to come out and surprise me again? I look carefully, thankfully no sight of him. I walk straight into the kitchen where Jamal is preparing a tray of lunch. After having lunch, I lay down in my study and thankfully I'm able to fall asleep.

A little over an hour on, I rise up quietly. The house has a cool, empty midday feeling to it. I walk out onto the veranda. There's no sign of Mr. Constant anywhere. Relieve, I leave the house quietly.

I walk slowly back up the path in the late afternoon sunshine. I must speak to Mr. Constant about his return to Bamenda, and I must check his dressing as well. I decide I'll bring up the subject while I'm changing them. That way he won't be able to escape. As I approach the house, I see him sitting in the chair. An involuntary thrill of anticipation flutters through me. Quickly I suppress the feeling and put on a business expression.