Someone to stay || minsung

21

Chapter 21: Comforting, for once.

"I live; I die; the sea comes over me; its the blue that lasts"
Virginia Woolf—

When Jisung comes inside Felix's room, where I'm tucking Hyerin and Soonbok in, he gets next to me and brushes some strads of hair off my forhead. I lean into his touch again, pathetically, exhausted and out of my mind.

"I'll take over from here while you take a shower too and get comfortable." he says.

I hesitate, not sure if I should leave him with a responsibility I took upon myself voluntarily while actively refusing to accept help of any kind. It isn't fair for me to just go and leave Jisung here.

The boy next to me recognizes the glint of doubt in my eyes and, before I can complain or refuse he's pushing me out of the room. "Don't come back inside until there's no messy makeup on your handsome face."

My cheeks burn with embarrassment. I look at my painted nails and remember that I was a victim of Hyerin and Soonbok's games some time before.

I reach my room and search for some sleepwear. Now that I think of it, I didn't get to see what Jisung is wearing. Not like he tried to hide it or anything, I'm just not fully focused right now.

I need to get a grip on my feelings, on my thoughts, on my heart. Everything is messy, has been all this past week and I've been trying to ignore it. The lack of sleep is also getting to me, not helping a lot.

I have the urge to call Noona and ask for advice, but that would mean acknowledging that I'm not okay like I so fiercely claim every time someone asks. That would mean admitting I need help, ultimately expressing my weakness.

Thankfully, I'm working on autopilot so I know I won't do it.

Instead, I step inside the shower with shaking limbs and a growing headache. The warm water pouring over my body calms me and makes the aching of my back less present. The steam surrounding me grows and obstructs my vision, tarnishes the mirror so I can't see more than my silhouette reflecting on it when I come out of the shower, dripping but finally clean of the exhaustion the day has smeared all over my body.

My mind is growing calmer, but I don't think it is thanks to things being in order. More than calm I would say it's growing numb and it reminds me of how it did so too when I had overworked myself just by crying in private and smiling in public to seem okay when Jisung left me.

I shake my head. Memories from the past have to stay there, they have no businesses bothering me now.

I dry my hair and put on the simple grey pajamas I grabbed before, fast so I can avoid getting lost in my thoughts by walking inside Felix's room again.

Jisung is sitting on the floor, back against the wall. He pats a spot next to him when he sees me and all the anger I felt before when I saw him standing at my front door dissipates, evanesces as if it wasn't there to begin with. Because he's just too sweet and I'm just too tired to keep this usless front up.

The room is quiet and I wonder what they were talking about before my arrival.

As I settle down next to Jisung, I can't help but notice the mischievous glint in his eyes. "What were you two chatting about before I got here?" I inquire, trying to sound nonchalant.

Jisung chuckles, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Oh, you know, just reminiscing about the good old days," he replies casually.

I raise an eyebrow, sensing there's more to his response than meets the eye. "Really? Anything interesting?"

"Well," Jisung begins, his grin widening, "Soonbok mentioned something about the stories you used to tell her about our childhood."

My heart sinks as embarrassment washes over me. "Oh... those stories," I mumble, feeling my cheeks flush crimson.

Jisung laughs heartily, clearly enjoying my  reaction. I cover my face with both hands to hide away from his eyes, brown and evil. "Can Sunggie tell us one today, Minmin?"

The sweet voice startles me when it reaches my ears. "I thought you were asleep like Hyerin." I tell Soonbok, who's rubbing her eyes and yawning, almost as gone as the blonde girl happily snoring next to her.

"Can he?"

As Soonbok's hopeful gaze meets mine, I find it hard to resist her request. With a resigned sigh, I nod slowly, my lips curling into a reluctant smile.

"Alright, fine," I concede, glancing at Jisung. who's smiling with content.

As Jisung begins to recount one of our escapades from the orphanage days, one of the countless times we made our poor Aera Noona go crazy, I find myself getting lost in his storytelling. His voice carries a nostalgic warmth, evoking vivid memories of our shared past. Soonbok listens intently, her eyes wide with wonder as Jisung paints a picture of our childhood adventures, one I can't even seem to hear.

With each word, I feel myself drifting into a state of relaxation. Jisung's soothing voice washes over me like a gentle lullaby, easing the tension from my muscles. Unconsciously, I lean against him, finding solace in his familiar presence, in his chocolatey smell and his soothing voice.

Sensing my growing tiredness, Jisung adjusts his position slightly, allowing me to rest my head on his lap, practically forcing it to rest on his comfortable thighs. It doesn't burn, the contact doesn't seem like torture like I thought it would for some unknown reason.

His hand instinctively finds its way to my hair, fingers gently carding through the strands in a comforting rhythm. The sensation is incredibly soothing, lulling me further into a state of tranquility.

As Jisung continues his tale, I feel my eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment. The familiar tone of his voice becomes a distant murmur, fading into the background as sleep takes over me.

I try to fight against the pull of slumber, wanting to stay awake and listen to the end of the story. But the gentle strokes of Jisung's hand against my hair are too hypnotic to resist. Slowly, inexorably, I succumb to the embrace of sleep, drifting away on a tide of childhood memories and warmth.

In that fleeting moment before darkness claims me, I feel a sense of contentment wash over me. Wrapped in the safety of Jisung's embrace, surrounded by the echoes of our shared past that doesn't leave an acidic taste on my mouth for once, I let go of all worries and surrender to the incessant call of sleep.