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It has been a week since I rejected Jisung's proposal.
A week during which he has been steadily trying to charm me into agreeing, with Jeongin laughing at him when my answer didn't change from the original "no."
A week during which he has been making me go absolutely fucking crazy. And I hate it. I hate how he makes me feel. I hate that I love how he makes me feel.
These past days have been hard, especially when going to the orphanage to check up on Noona and my little girls. Haneul not being there hurts my heart and makes it difficult to keep a happy face, but I've tried my best.
I keep trying my best to open up about my feelings, confronting them instead of running away and hiding under the protection of my warm blanket.
That ambition, a task that seems too hard to handle at times, is what has led me to this particular moment, with Felix, Hyunjin, and Seungmin sitting in the living room, on the couch or the floor.
It's Saturday night, past midnight already, but we've been having so much fun that time hasn't really been my priority. Now, there's a weird serial killer documentary playing, and they've all been hooked on it since it started.
My mind is elsewhere, has been for a while. I'm debating whether or not I should talk to them about the worries swimming in my brain.
My eyes are set on the TV, but I'm not watching what's happening on screen. I'm also not aware of Seungmin's piercing stare on me until he actually speaks and I turn to look at him. "Seriously, I can practically hear your thoughts," he says.
"Huh?" is all I dumbly reply. Hyunjin's and Felix's eyes are on me now as well.
Seungmin sighs softly. "You can talk to us about what you're thinking about, Minho. We're your friends, and I can personally see the worry from miles away."
Oh.
His words make me feel warm inside.
"Yeah, we're actually your best friends!" Hyunjin joins in, too. A smile threatens to set on my lips.
There's a hand on my knee, encouraging brown eyes staring at me from their spot in Felix's freckled face. It gives me the push I need. "Imagine that, hypothetically, you had a friend a long time ago. A... best friend." My friends hum, all at the same time. They're creepy like that. I like it. "And, hypothetically, you had... feelings? Yeah, feelings towards said friend."
"Are we talking abo—"
"Shh, let him speak! I wanna hear how the hypothetical story finishes!" Hyunjin says, scolding Seungmin, who throws his hands up in surrender. Felix giggles.
