Forever My Girl

Hes Gone.

"He's gone Mama, isn't he?"

Agatha said as Penelope tucked her up into her bed, Penelope didn't have the words. She had spent most of the day crying after Violet said he packed up and left. Eloise had quickly made her way round, she had called Penelope about something to do with Philip and she could tell straight away that Penelope wasn't right, and she knew it would no doubt have something to do with her brother.

Penelope looked down at Agatha and saw a few tears escaping her eyes,

"Don't cry my baby."

Agatha sank into her mother's arm and the two of them cried, Penelope hoped he'd come back, but who was she kidding? Next time she'd see him would no doubt be Agatha's sixteenth. She had finally managed to settle little Agatha and she made her way back down the stairs.

She knew it was too good to be true, she knew he wouldn't stay. All the time they had spent together, it had been sweeping every issue under the rug, and as soon as Penelope attempted to lift it? He ran again. He wasn't ready, and Penelope wasn't sure he ever would be.

As Penelope got to the bottom of the stairs, she heard Eloise pacing the porch. She went out to join her and saw her best friend standing against the railing with a cigarette,

"Thought you'd quit?"

Penelope pointed to the cigarette and ripped it away from Eloise, not to put it out, but to have a smoke of it herself. Penelope hadn't ever really been a smoker, but tonight? She could be.

"How is she?"

Eloise motioned her head back towards the door, obviously insinuating about her beloved niece.

"She'll be ok. We'll be ok... eventually."

Penelope sniffled as she crawled onto her porch swing and wrapped a blanket around her. Eloise had already lit a candle and poured them two generous glasses of red wine.

"I really thought he was back."

Eloise sniffled too, as much as Penelope knew Eloise would have given Colin an awful time, she knew she done that to protect herself from any more pain. Eloise and Colin were extremely close when they were younger, and to see them drift apart over these eight years was painful for not only Penelope but the whole family.

When Colin ran the first time, they all held out hope for days, weeks, even years that some how he'd return. But this time? It felt different. He seemed to be home, he was present and then he ran. Maybe he got the taste of this life, and it wasn't for him. Maybe he'd grown out of Ashwell, maybe he'd grown out of them.

Penelope couldn't help but think the common denominator was her.

Why couldn't he stay for her?

Why couldn't he love her?

Penelope swigged a mouthful of her glass of red wine,

"I think the last conversation we had might have pushed him to leave."

Eloise shook her head vigorously,

"Absolutely not, you will NOT be blaming yourself, whatever you said he probably deserved in tenfold. He left because he is a coward running away from himself, nothing else."

Penelope saw a few more tears escape El's eyes, and she patted the seat next to her to gesture her best friend to sit down. Penelope wrapped the blanket around the two of them and they sat back swinging on the porch, drinking wine and staring at the stars.

"I just thought maybe Agatha would have made him stay."

Penelope whispered as she leaned her head on Eloise's shoulder.