Jake's pov
Its been awhile since Johnnie's passing I haven't left my house in days not even to visit his grave I sigh and sit up and decide to go get a glass of water I open my door and head to the kitchen I grab water and look around as I drink memories flooding into view all the good moments with Johnnie appearing everywhere I feel tears fall from my eyes as I put down my water and head to my room I pass a door Johnnie's door...i stop and I look at it I sigh and open his door looking around at everything I walk in and close the door as I lay in his bed God it still smells like him too I feel tears fall from my face as I sob into my hands I look at his desk seeing a box I get up curious as I wipe my eyes and walk over to the box reading it -Jake and me moments- the box reads I open it and see all the gifts I gave him throughout our friendship I grab a letter with hearts all over it I open it and start reading.
Dear Jake
I know I'll never get the chance to give this to you or see your reaction to it but I like you I always have since the first day we met i couldn't help but like you, your so pretty and smart and caring and very funny you always make me laugh and smile but once you left for a few days for a video I was alone I was trapped in my thoughts and it finally came over me that I should just end it I'm writing this to you before I do it I love you Jake so much we will meet again some day I promise we'll find our way back to eachother, I love you Jake please don't hate me after this.
I feel tears fall from my eyes as I put the note back In the envelope and look through the rest pictures of us notes we gave eachother teddy bears,gifts everything I ever gave him was in this box he kept it all and he liked me back? "God Dammit Johnnie" I sob out as I punch the desk "why? Why did you have to go I could've helped you!" I sob out as I fall to the ground "Johnnie I'm going to see you one way or another" I say standing up as I go to my room grabbing paper and a pen writing everyone notes Tara,Sam,Colby,Reggie,Mom,Dad,Sister,zach,Jc,will,etc
Fuck I can't belive I'm going through with this I fold the papers and put them in envelopes writingtheir names "just In case I change my mind" I whisper as I send a text to Tara telling her that I will see her someday and that when she calls the cops I'm already going to be gone I sigh and put my phone away in my pocket my phone buzzing I ignore it and walk to the bathroom grabbing a blade as I look in the mirror should I actually do this? I want to see Johnnie again but...what about the others? My friends, family, fans? What will they think they already lost Johnnie losing me too? I look in the mirror fuck I can't I grab my phone calling Tara.
Ring...Ring
Jake!?"
Tara screams I can tell she was crying
"I can't do it I can't leave everyone I love Johnnie but I can't leave everyone and I know that what he would want he would want me to stay."
I say tears falling down my face
Jake where are you"
she asks me calmly all though her voice is shaky
I'm on my way to Johnnie's grave"
I say as I get in my car starting it and driving towards the graveyard
Ok I'm coming to may sure you don't doing anything stupid"
she says and hangs up I sigh and look ahead.
I finally made it as I get out of the car and walk to his grave
"I'm sorry Johnnie I really want to see you but...I can't just leave and I know you would want me to stay" I say looking at his grave smiling as tears fall down my face I look up seeing a black butterfly "you came back" I whisper smiling I then feel a tap on my shoulder I turn around and see Tara she looks like she's been crying she falls down and hugs me "please don't ever scare me like that again" she whisper I put my hand on her arm as she hugs me "I won't" I say as I see the butterfly fly land on his grave Tara looks "he's here" she says I nod smiling.
After a few hours me ans Tara go separate ways going home, as I pull in my drive way ans go inside I hang up my keys and walk to my room once again passing Johnnie's I sigh and go into my room as I lay down in my bed slowly falling asleep.
Where the hell am I?" I say as I look around blackness everywhere then everything goes white I end up in the graveyard again
Jake
I turn around wondering who said it no one I sigh and walk through like something is pulling me I end up at Johnnie's grave but some one was there? I get closer and notice it's Johnnie...?
"Johnnie...?" I whisper getting closer he looks up ans smiles gesturing to sit I nod and sit next to him as we stare at his grave
"This was the only way I could talk to you was to get in your dream"
He says
I sigh "why did you have to leave I already read the note but I could've helped you!" I say looking at him he nods and smiles
"I didn't want you to feel bad or help me so I left but I'm doing better now Jake I'm always watching over you may suring you don't get hurt I'm still here just you can't see me.." it goes silent for a moment I lay my hand on top of his "I miss you alot Jake I wish I could come back but the farthest I was ever getting to you was that butterfly that's the way I could only touch ans see u not as a ghost" he says I nod and look at the sunset "I love you Johnnie" I say looking at him he smiles "I love you too...I have to Jake but I'll visit again" he says as he slowly stands up "w-wait! Can I get a hug before you go?" I ask looking at him he nods I stand up and hug him I lay a kiss on his cheek "be safe please and come back again to visit I need this" I say looking at him he nods and smiles "bye Jake I love you..." he says before everything goes black I shoot up from my sleep i look at my clock 8am I sigh and lay back down staring at the ceiling "I miss you" I whisper.
