[R1999] Short Stories' Collection

A chaotic incident in Sicily (16)

[February 10th, 1944

...He said he would return to Sicily. He said he would work at Sicily's Office.

That means he will meet mamma. He will easily become her favorite student in a short time.

Soon he will steal her attention as well as her love.

I must hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.

March 25th, 1944

...These visions made my head hurt. Sometimes I just want to cut my head to take the pain away.

I took 2 pills today and mamma praised me for my timely support. The happiness appeared in a brief moment before turning into negative feelings.

I need more praise.

April 9th, 1944

...I want to meet him. I want to see his fake polite smile. His surprising look, his endurance in front of me. Why does he need to be perfect all the time?

Has he ever been tired? I hate him yet I miss him so much.

Will he one day tell me that he actually hates me too?

May 4th, 1944

...The sunlight was so warm.

December 15th, 1944

...I dreamt of something from the past. In that shabby orphanage, Zanelli would clean our room every day and hang my pillow and worn-out blanket under the sunlight. I love the remaining heat and the smell of the sun that brought me straight to my dreams.

Today I coughed out blood.

February 29th, 1945

...Oh, I was deaf for a while. Luckily, no one suspected.

March 20th, 1945

...I may be unable to see his return.

It is too late for me to recognize the regret that has been inside me all this time. Mamma will be very sad about this.

*blood stains*

I don't want to die.

April 17th, 1945

...Somehow I feel like I have recovered. All the symptoms had disappeared and I didn't feel addicted to those pills anymore. It was the third day I didn't swallow any pill.

I will cook something for mama tomorrow. Hope she still likes my food.

Maybe I can use my weekends to meet Zanelli. I want to tell him that my hate towards him has finally vanished. I want our relationship to return to when we were still in that shabby orphanage.

I will buy some sunflower's seed and grow them in the yard behind my room. I want to watch their growth process day by day.]

Excerpted from "Federico De Luca's Diary"

—---------

As time flew, every wound would be healed eventually, leaving the scar that reminded us about the origination of it.

Some scars would fade, some were still there to the rest of one's life.

Mozzoni had a prominent scar on her face that began from the right side of her forehead, cut her eyebrow into two parts and ended at the bottom of her cloudy right eye. If anyone looked at that unique eye closer, they would discover the fact that it was a fake one.

It was April 18th, 1945 when the former Chief of Sicily's Office lost an eye as well as one third of her life span, due to an unbelievable bet that she had created in an unstable psychological state.