SUBJECTBALLS

Word Vomit

Maths reached towards the door, then hesitated, doubling back. The golden doorknob gleamed smugly back at them.

Hmph! They thought. I'll show you who's boss, doorknob!

They vigorously grabbed the golden doorknob and twisted it.

PSHE jumped as they walked into the room. She was leaning back in one of the leather armchairs, reading.

"A knock would have been nice, deary..." PSHE sighed as she walked towards them, beckoning them into one of the armchairs.

Once Maths had taken their seat, they immediately began talking, the words flooding out of their mouth before they could stop them;

"Art's upset with me, yet again, and I have no idea why... I don't think I did anything wrong, but, who knows? Only Art chooses what upsets her, but the thing is her sadness... or anger... or whatever she's feeling against me... it's infectious. The more she ignores me, the more she distances herself from me, it makes me more upset, y'know? She's my other half, I can't live properly when I'm not near her. It feels like the Earth should stop turning, time should stop ticking, hearts should stop beating... y'know? It doesn't feel real at all..." they kept going until they lost their breath.

"Well," PSHE replied almost immediately, not seeming fazed by their word vomit. "If you don't know what you've done, and trying to apologise hasn't worked, you could try getting her something she'd like that isn't specific to any circumstances. That way, you cover all possibilities, while simultaneously covering none of them at all."

Maths was amazed how quickly PSHE understood. Maybe she did live up to the hype surrounding her after all!

"Like... like a gift?"

"Yes, exactly like that. What kind of gift would Art like?"

Maths had always been opposed to the idea of buying someone's affection, but they felt like this was an appropriate circumstance.

"It might mean more if it comes from the heart, from the mind, from the soul, as opposed to from a listing on EBay." she croaked, as if she could read their mind.

"You're right! Thanks a ton, PSHE!" they lifted themselves eagerly out of the brown leather seat and rushed towards the door.

"No problem, deary! Come back anytime!" she said, desperately trying to make her words heard before Maths slammed the door shut.