Bound to Love

Chapter 14: Junior's Punishment

   I came home and fell right to sleep. My nap did little to avoid the crushing weight of reality once I woke up, and my body feels heavy after the chaos of the day. I can't believe me and Michael actually burned the orphanage down. I'm sure I'll hear all about it tomorrow at school, my peers will try to figure out what happened. They'll probably say it was faulty wiring or something, that the old building was bound to burn down one day. But I know what actually happened, and I can't tell any of them. It's mine and Michaels secret.

   My mind wanders to Junior and our conversation in the car. He knew he would hurt me with what he said, and now he's probably someone relishing in the fact he made me cry. Again. I reach down to my empty ring finger. It feels weird now that the ring is gone, I was finally starting to adjust to the weight of it. I was starting to cherish it, and what it meant. That Junior was finally getting his shit together. Boy was I wrong. I try to understand the stress he must be feeling, and he fears that comes with it. I try to justify his behavior, but I can't. My first instinct is ever to hurt somebody and push them away, then again I've never really had anyone to push away except Sarah. She's always been a mother figure to me, but I never let her close enough to see what was going on inside my head.

   When she knocks on my door to tell me that dinner is ready, I debate confiding in her about my boy troubles. Maybe she could give me some advice on how to handle Junior, she practically raised him after all. Though I'm not sure she wants to talk about him after the whole incident with him. So I let it go and eat my dinner quietly, pondering on my current situation. I know I'll see Michael tomorrow, and that fills me with excitement. Eventually I'll have to see Junior too, though I doubt he'll be taking me to classes tomorrow. I'd rather run the whole way there again then get in a car with him right now. I worry about where he went after dropping me off. He looked like shit, and my ring, the ring cut his face. He shouldn't be driving in the state he's in, he's going to end up killing himself.

   The whole time eating dinner I watch Sarah going back and forth, into the kitchen, out into the hallway, then back around. She's a short woman but she moves very fast. Part of me wants to ask her if Junior's home yet, but she looks so busy. After her fifth pass around I decide to take my chances.

   "Sarah, sorry, what are you doing?"

   "Oh dearie, I've been packing Junior's bags for his deployment. That boy is so particular when it comes to his clothes, how to fold them, don't mix colors with whites. He is going to send me to an early grave I swear it."

   "So he's home then?" Maybe he's sobered up, either way he'd be safer here then out and about.

   "I haven't seen him since this morning miss, is there something wrong?" Sarah stops grabbing my dishes to look me in the eye. I want to tell her everything, but I'm not sure how to.

   "Yeah, we actually got into a pretty big fight this morning. I'm just worried about him." I don't know why I hesitate to tell her full truth, it just doesn't feel like the right time.

   "Oh Junior will come around, the boy is stubborn but not stupid, he knows how good you are for him. He's just like his father, they both give me a headache. Just give him some time."

   "Actually, he told me he didn't need me, so..." There are no words Sarah can say to take away the pain Junior's words carry. She knows it, so she just nods her head and excuses herself. I'm left alone in the dining hall, wondering how everything went so wrong in less than twenty-four hours. It has to be an all time record.

   I make it back to my room after a short trip down to Junior's level. I stood in front of his door, breathing as quietly as possible to hear any sounds of movement. He's been out for a full six hours and I'm really starting to worry. The only things I know about drugs are what I've learned so far in class, but it hasn't been much. Just the physical signs of it really, but I do know that Junior was more than just high. He seemed slightly intoxicated, and mixing the two is never a good thing. I start flipping through my med class book to see what else I can find, specifically on detoxing. There's not much on it, just that the only person who can help the addict is the addict themselves, and they have to want the help in order for it to work. Frustrated, I slam my book closed and crawl into bed, trying to convince myself it will all be better by the morning.