THE BAD GUYS IN: KUNG FU PANDA

Faith

looking down from the sky to the bunkhouse, that same night.

"...So I'm like, fine, you may be a wolf, you may be the scariest bandit in Haijin Province..."

In the kitchen, Po is cooking for the Five, who are all sitting at the table.

He chops a radish mid-air and the slices fall into the pot.

Viper, Monkey, Mantis and Crane are listening to Po's story with amused skepticism, but Tigress ignores him completely.

"...but you're a lousy tipper"

"Really? So... how'd you get out of there alive?"

"I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it... in... in my mind"

Po flips some bowls and expertly lines them up on his arm. He ladles soup into them.

"If he... could read my mind, he'd have been like, "What?" Order up!"

Po slides out the bowls of noodle soup to the Five minus Tigress, who already has a plate of tofu.

"Hope you like it"

Mantis Takes a sip, "This is really good!"

"No, c'mon. You should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually... knows the secret ingredient"

""What are you talking about? This is amazing"

"Wow, you're a really good cook"

"I wish my mouth was bigger"

"Tigress, you've got to try this"

Tigress picks up her plate and picks up a piece of tofu with her chopsticks, ignoring the noodles.

"It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single gingko leaf and the energy of the universe"

There is silence as everyone realises that Po has been put down yet again. Then Po shrugs.

"I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew. And, uh, universe juice"

He picks up his bowl and takes a giant gulp. When he lowers the bowl, we see a noodle hanging from his face... it looks like a long moustache. Mantis snickers.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing... Master Shifu!"

The rest start laughing. Po realizes he's wearing a noodle moustache.

He plays it up, picking up a chopstick and pretending it's Shifu's staff.

"You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose five hundred pounds and brush your teeth!" The Five laugh. Tigress, however, stays silent.

"What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it! Work hard, Panda. And maybe, someday..."

He picks up two empty bowls and holds them up like ears.

"... you will have ears like mine!"

This gag has the Five in near-hysterics. Suddenly, they stop laughing.

Reveal Shifu has entered behind Po, who is still holding up the 'ears'.

He is holding Oogway's staff, and has one heck of a scowl on his face.

"Ears. It's not working for you? I thought they were pretty good" Po looks at the stone-faced Five.

"It's Shifu"

"Of course it's Shifu. What do you think I'm doing?"

Gaping, Monkey points while Viper, Mantis, and Crane shift their eyes to something behind him.