THE BAD GUYS IN: KUNG FU PANDA

Suffering

In the throne room, Shen, Soothsayer and a gorilla soldier nervously await Po's arrival.

They see a hulking shadow moving up the stairs... hear him grunting with each thundering step... Shen unsheathes a knife slightly... Soothsayer looks on expectantly... the shadow nears the top of the stairs... Po emerges... being carried on a gorilla's back like a sack of rice.

He flings the panda on the floor as Boss Wolf and the Furious Five also reach the top of the stairs.

"Thanks for... carrying me those last few flights..."

Tigress helps him up as Shen and Soothsayer look on, astonished.

Boss Wolf points a spear at Tigress- she kicks it out of his paws and into a pillar.

"I threw up a little on the third floor, someone might want to clean that up. Is there some sort of evil janitor or somethin'?"

"Greetings, panda! We meet at-"

"Hey, how you doin'?" Shen is caught off guard.

"Hey..."

Soothsayer approaches Po and pokes him gently in the belly.

"You've grown up bigger than I thought..." She examines the panda, looking inside a confused Po's ear as she does so.

"strong..." She opens his mouth and peers inside.

"healthy"

"Look, I don't know who you are, but please step aside, sir"

"That's a lady" Po does a double take.

"Oh, sorry! The beard threw me... it's kind of misleading..." Soothsayer strokes her beard, amused, "false advertising..."

"Enough of this nonsense! Bring the prisoners to me"Po and the six are led further into the throne room.

"Get ready, guys. Keep your eyes peeled for the... weapon!"

Po spots a tiny model of the cannon on a table. Quick as lightning, he charges at the model and destroys it with a swing.

The six stare at him, mortified; Crane even pulls down his hat in shame. The Soothsayer is perplexed.

"Yes! We did it! Did you guys see that? Wahoooo..."

The triumphant panda turns... and finds himself standing in front of the giant cannon in the middle of the room.

The six are shoved next to him as Shen approaches, laughing.

"You really think that this is the warrior destined to defeat me?"

"I do not... I know he is"

"Look at him! A lifetime to plot his revenge and he comes to me on his knees!"

"Hey, wait, I did not have a lifetime... we only heard about Master Thundering Rhino a few days ago, and we came to avenge him!"

Soothsayer stares, "You've come to avenge nothing else?"

"Yeah, all those pots and pans you stole- we're going to want those back!"

"Nothing else?"

"You probably did some other evil stuff on the way, I don't know, what else did he do?"

Soothsayer is shocked. Meanwhile, Viper sticks her tail into Tigress' cuffs and starts picking the lock.

"You don't know..."

"Know what? What's so funny?"

"Precisely the thing... that you clearly do not know!"

"Okay, enough with these riddles! Would you guys just spill the beans?! First the weapon was tiny- hey surprise, it's big! And then the lady over here- I think is a guy 'cause she's got a..."