Newt X Reader One-Shots

Out Of Our Hands

They were getting worried. They were starting to notice. They were looking at me when I passed by. They would be too careful with what they said. They know that something was wrong.

Something is. Something hidden under my sleeve.

I kept my mouth shut. There was no reason to speak up. There was no cure. There was no solution. There was just getting Minho out and accepting my fate. It's that simple. Painful to the point where I've numbed all of my emotions but simple.

I like the roof. It's empty. It's quiet. It's high up enough to where if I jumped this hell would end.

I'm not allowed to though. Not until we save Minho.

Up here though, I pretend that isn't happening. I pretend that there's nothing to fear. I pretend that there's nobody that needs to be saved. I pretend that I don't need to be saved.

I do need to be. It's just that I can't. I can't, and Minho can.

Looking at the ground, I closed my eyes as tears streamed down my cheeks. Letting them, I just hummed to myself as I kept wondering why. Why couldn't I be fast enough? Why couldn't I be immune? Why couldn't I rescue my friend, then get back to the Safe Haven, marry Newt, and start a family?

As I was deep into my mind, falling back into my endless spiral of destruction, someone tapped my shoulder. Quickly opening my eyes and turning around, I saw Newt, standing there with a strained smile.

"Love, are you alright? You weren't down for dinner,"He pointed out.

"I'm fine,"I lied, looking him right in the eye so he would believe me.

"Are you sure?"He asked, trying to put a hand on my shoulder. With my head reminding me that soon doing that would turn out with some kind of blood, I flinched and pulled away, still refusing to look at him. With both of us silent, it was clear that something needed to be said, but nobody quite knew what. They didn't know how to say it in a way that wouldn't destroy the other.

Only all of that is me.

"Did someone hurt you?"He whispered. Resisting the urge to ask if a Crank counts, I shook my head no and went to leave. If I stayed with him something would happen. I'm not sure what, but I'm not allowed to be by people. Not when I'm like this. Not if I didn't have to be. Why would I put someone in danger just for the selfish reason of my own comfort? Especially someone I love? Especially my Newt?

"Y/N,"He called as I walked over the door. Completely ignoring him, I pulled on the rusted handle, just needing to get out of here as fast as possible. Tuning out him asking what was happening, I glared at the metal door. Going to try it again, this time willing to dig my nails into the keyhole just to escape, before I had time to react Newt pulled on the handle.

It took what seemed like years to process it.

His hand was in the way of my nails.

My nails scratched him.

I drew blood.

I'm a Crank.

If he's not immune, he will be too.

I may have just given him a fate worse than death.

Pulling away, he just wiped it off on his pants as I managed to look at him. Shaking my head no, I knew that if I had one wish, it would be to take that second away. It would be for him to be immune. It would be for him to not be affected by whatever the outcome is.

I can't though. I can't so I may have just ruined him. He worked so hard on himself, and I may have just destroyed it all.

Only this time, he wouldn't be able to get another start.

"No, no, no, no, no,"I rushed out, looking at the red on his hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry,"I repeated, wrapping my arms around him and repeating my apology.

"It's okay, love. You didn't mean to,"He tried to assure me.

"I'm sorry,"was all I could keep getting out as the tears poured until I was sure there was no water left in my body. Until all I was, was a bite and a doomed soul.

"Y/N,"He whispered, pulling away and pressing his palms to my face. With my heart shattering until the cracks couldn't even be seen, I was forced to realize how awful this actually was. Now that I had to think about if Newt wasn't immune, I had to think about just how agonizingly taunting it would be. To know your time is limited but not be able to do anything about it.

"It's okay. A scratch isn't going to kill me,"He said softly.

"I'm a Crank, Newt. I'm turning into a Crank,"I finally confessed.

"You're what?"He uttered, his eyes going unnaturally wide as he just stared at me in disbelief.

"I'm a Crank,"I managed to repeat.

"How?"He asked in a cracked voice. With the shame building up in me like never before, I rolled up the sleeve I had spent so long admiring for keeping my secret.

Now I hate it. I hate that it helped me not say anything. I hate that it's part of the reason I could have just dragged my love, my soulmate, my reason to keep fighting, down with me.

"Y/N,"He whispered, taking my arm and almost studying the bite mark that was now surrounded by veins, as if to be sure this was real. As if I would try to hurt him.

But I may have done something worse than hurt him, and we won't even know until tomorrow morning.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never do that to you. I would never try to make you suffer, and I'm sorry. It won't even fix anything, but it's true. It's all I can say. I love you, and I'm sorry. I will love you forever, and I'll be sorry forever,"I swore.

"Don't be sorry, okay? Don't resent yourself over this. No matter what, don't blame yourself."

"But-"
"Y/N,"He said firmly, pulling my sleeve down and taking my hand in his. "You can't help not being immune, and I can't control it if I am. You never wanted to be infected, and you didn't mean to scratch me. Those are the only things that we know, and none of those are worth blaming yourself over,"He coaxed, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand.

I didn't believe his words. Not all of them. All of these events, and whatever the unthinkable outcome may be, go back to me. There's no other way to put it.

"Come on. Let's go to sleep, love,"He suggested. Not wanting to do any more damage, I just nodded and let him lead me down the stairs and to our rooms. After carefully opening the door he kept his hand in mine as he shut it. With neither of us having near enough energy to change and barely enough to walk, we just collapsed on his bed since it was closest.

That, and why would we try and separate right now? If we know that our time is limited, what's the point in staying apart?

What's the point in doing anything but falling asleep beside each other, knowing that no matter what, we will always be loved? Even if something should be breaking us apart, making us fight, making us hate each other, how could we? We are each other's everything. We're each other's rock, each other's light, each other's world.

I know that if he isn't immune I gave him a death sentence. He knows that too, but for now, we'll pretend not to. For now, he'll just hold me close to his chest as I wrap my arms around him, praying that this won't be the last time I fall asleep with my boy by my side.

And despite what I am, I know that he's doing the same.