His Nanny

Chapter 32

Heather

I guess I was going to have to do it. I didn't want to talk to a therapist but I know it will help and frankly I'm sick and tired of being the one that is afraid, and not having the utmost love for Gabriele because I have anxiety and the nightmares keep coming back.

I walked up to the steps to the floor on which the office was. Tristen gave me his card this morning and said he had all morning open. I know one session won't solve my problems but I needed to start somewhere and just see the glimmer of hope and work from there.

I went up to the receptionist and she said I could go in.

I knocked on the door and a voice from the other side told me that I could come in. A man in his early thirties was sitting at a desk, he wore a pair of glasses and looked up. He stood up and was much taller than I realized, he walked to me and stretched out his hand.

"I'm Joshua Stein you must me Tristen's sister-"

"Heather" I answered. He shook my hand and released.

"Let's begin."

He took a seat on a chair on the one side and I took a seat on the other. I was nervous and I was already feeling sick, this flu sucks.

"So what seems to be the problem?" He asked. I tried to explain to him how I felt and about my nightmares, I was amazed at how I even managed to tell him something so intimate. After I explained to him what happened he took a few seconds and just looked at me as I just shifted in my seat.

"You still have anxiety because you can't let go of what happened. When you feel the pain again, I want you to scream and cry. Cry for as long as you want, days or weeks, until you feel like you can let go. You have talked to Gabriele right?" I nodded, I have and it wasn't a great conversation but he understood.

"Go back to him after the break and after you've felt what you needed and tell him that you love him. Yes, this may seem strange but feeling his love would ease what you feel if you let it. It might take some time but after you decide that you are not your own prisoner then you are free. You may feel like you aren't supposed to be alive but  you are and I think that reason is Gabriele- you were made for him and is here to help him." I urgently stood up and asked him where the bathroom is.

I rushed to the bathroom and I threw up again. I hate being sick but this is just ridiculous.

I wiped my mouth and walked out casually back to his office. Yikes.

"Are you okay?"

"Other than what we just discussed, I think I have a stomach bug." He raised his eyebrow.

"Oh, well you should be getting home, my last piece of advice is to let it all out and then let all the good in. See the love around you and take it." He ushered me out the door, I felt better after what he said and at the same time, everything that happened came rushing back.

I went home and as soon as I entered the door, I broke.

I started crying and rushed to my room locking it.

For three hours I cried and cried. I felt so stupid but this has been bottled up for months. Somewhere along the lines, I felt serenity, like I was done crying and I could face the world. I stepped out back into the living room where Tristen was working on his laptop.

"I took the day off." He stated and looked at me worriedly.

"How did it go?" I gave him a small smile that I hadn't given anyone in a while, a happy smile.

"He helped a lot, I admit the accident left scars and that I've been having anxiety issues lately but the scars are healing, one thing he did say changed my outlook."