Rejected, Loved, Mated

Chapter Four: Can't Stay Away

I finished the night out pretty easily considering what had happened with Jasper. Throughout the night, I could feel Jasper watching me whenever I was in the dining room. I tried not to look at him but I couldn't help it sometimes, my eyes seemed to just gravitate to him. At the end of the night I was happy that it was time to close.

We ended up having to divvy out the huge birthday cake to the guest and some of our staff because the person who's birthday the dinner had been for never showed up. It was really weird that anybody would miss their own birthday dinner but to each their own. I would have given anything for somebody to rent out a restaurant for me to have a birthday dinner. The last time I had celebrated a birthday had been just before.... before my parents had been taken.

That night I went home and ate one of the large chunk of cake I had taken and some ice cream, watching some movies and letting the tears roll down my cheeks. I hadn't let the pain take me while I was working but, for just a few hours, I needed to let myself cry out my hurt and frustration. In a time where women believe its stupid to cry over a man, I let myself just feel the pain that comes with being broken-hearted. There's nothing wrong with crying over a man, just don't get stuck on it, move on after you get the tears out.

Jasper's face just kept popping into my head, the sadness in his eyes and the way he seemed to not want to go through with it. He looked just as hurt as I was but he still did it. I kept wondering if I was the problem, if he just didn't think I was worthy enough to be with me. When I was younger and had a crush on him, I had always thought I was too much of a blabber mouth and too ugly to ever deserve him. Over the years, I had built up self-confidence but the simple fact that Jasper had rejected me brought back all the fears I had about my self-worth.

The next morning, I woke up early as usual and headed out to my classes, turning off my emotions and thoughts so I could focus on my lesson. No matter what happened in my outside life I wasn't going to let that keep me from my education. Nothing is ever so important that you neglect your education whether it be family, friends or possible love connections. I had too much to worry about in my future to neglect my responsibilities just because I was hurting. I hated girls that used a broken heart as an excuse to shut down. It had hurt like hell to get out of bed but I pushed through because that's what I had to do.

Days went by like this and everyday I walked into work with a surprise visitor, Jasper. It was a huge shock the first day but after two weeks of him doing it, I began to expect him there. He waited for my break everyday to talk to me and spent countless hours waiting for just that short time. I was getting closer to him than I wanted to get but it was hard to resist him. Despite everything, he looked at me with such love and care but I had to remind myself that he had rejected me and I didn't need to have that. We were becoming friends but I wasn't going to let it go any farther than that.

Two weeks after the party, I thought I was past being surprised but I was wrong. On Thursday, once my classes were over for the day, I hopped in my car and headed to the restaurant to get my shift in. The second I walked into the building, I knew something was off but I shook it off. I headed straight to the back to change into my uniform and put my hair up into a tight bun.

"Hey, Leanna. There's three guys here that insisted to sit in your section. They've been here for hours. I told them you weren't going to be in until this evening but they insisted on staying." Carla, one of the waitresses that worked the shift before mine, informed me as I clocked in and she put in one of her final orders.

I sighed and grabbed a handful of straws, stuffing them into one of the pockets on my apron. I checked to see which section I was working for the shift and headed back to the kitchen to check what orders were waiting for my tables. If I was truthful with myself I was stalling, trying not to go out there and deal with the guys out there. I already had a pretty good idea who was waiting for me and I didn't need the headache. Finally, I had stalled all I could and one of my orders was ready so I took it out.