𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒕𝒖𝒔; 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒊𝒓

𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑫𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚

Lilith spends her every waking moment trying to sort out her thoughts. They keep getting too scrambled in her head, so she resorts to writing them on paper. She has a list: Real and Not Real.

Most of the time she's by herself, writing on her lists. She only writes down the things she sure of, everything else she writes on a separate sheet of paper so she remembers to ask about them when someone visits her.

She's been nicer to the doctors and she hasn't had to be sedated. Because of this, the restraints have been removed from her bed. She actually seems to be getting better. But, sometimes she relapses and thinks like her old self. After she does this, it takes a bit of convincing for her to believe what she's already been told.

"Hey, sweetheart," Haymitch says as he comes in the room.

"You're late," Lilith points out. "You said you'd be here in the morning. The doctor tells me it's evening."

"I know, I'm sorry. I was dealing with—" He stops himself. He doesn't know if mentioning Katniss is a good idea or not.

"Dealing with what?" Lilith asks, looking up from her paper.

Haymitch hesitates, but ultimately deciding that the only way for Lilith to get better is if she's not lied to. "I was dealing with Katniss."

"Katniss Everdeen. The Mockingjay," Lilith states. "Right?"

"Yes, she's the Mockingjay," Haymitch says as he sits down in his usual chair.

"She's the reason everything is wrong," Lilith says, looking back at her paper.

"No. Snow is the reason everything is wrong," Haymitch corrects.

"But Katniss—"

"Katniss has been wronged by Snow, just like you have. This isn't her fault," Haymitch interrupts her.

Lilith sighs and writes things down on her list. Even though she doesn't always believe things with her whole heart, she does however trust Haymitch's judgment. Lilith looks at the paper full of questions she wants to ask.

"Who's William?" She asks.

"I believe he was your tribute partner way back in your first Games. He sacrificed himself for you," Haymitch says.

William Hughs. He was kind to her. He gave his life for her. She remembers that during her first games she began to doubt the ways of the Capitol.

"Ember Little. She was my escort?" Lilith says.

"That's right," Haymitch answers.

"Where is she?" Lilith asks after writing something on her paper.

Haymitch sighs and thinks for a moment. "I'm actually not sure. I can ask around if you want me to."

"Please," Lilith says.

Later, Haymitch makes good on his promise and asks around for information on Ember's whereabouts.

He asks Plutarch if he knows where she is, and turns out, she's been here. She's been with Effie, bunkered down in their shared room.

"Haymitch, to what do I owe this pleasure," Ember says when Haymitch locates her.

"Lilith asked about you," He reveals.

Ember's eyes widen at the mention of her favorite tribute. "She did? How is she doing? I've heard... some things."

"Why don't you go see for yourself?" Haymitch suggests. Ember debated it for a moment. "I think it would really benefit her."

Ember decides to go see her. She makes the long walk to the medical wing, and when she finally arrives, she peers into Lilith's room. Ember sees her writing on paper, organizing her thoughts in one place.

"Knock, knock!" Ember chirps as she walks in the room.

Lilith's face lights up when she sees Ember. "Ember! You're here."

"I am. I'm glad to see you're okay," Ember takes a seat next to Lilith's bed.

"How did you get here?" Lilith asks.

"I was taken here in fears of being interrogated by the people of the Capitol," Ember explains. Lilith nods her head and looks at her paper. "I'm sorry about Silas, honey."

Lilith pauses for a moment. "Me too."

"I know how close you two were," Ember sympathizes. Lilith doesn't respond. Ember decides to change the subject. "Who else has seen you?"

"Haymitch, mostly. Finnick has been here once, but I wasn't very nice to him, and now I don't think he'll come back," Lilith says.

"Oh, honey, he'll come back. Maybe he's just not ready," Ember says.

"What if he's never ready?" Lilith expresses her fears.

"He will be. You just have to give it time," Ember assures her.

Lilith hopes Finnick comes back. Not only does she want to apologize for how she acted, but also she has so many questions she needs to ask him. There are things she needs to confirm that only Finnick knows.

Ember and Lilith talk for hours, it's not until late into the night that they stop. Ember is told visiting hours are over.

"I'll see you again," Ember promises.

"Okay," Lilith smiles.

Lilith settles in for the night, beginning to fall asleep just like she has for the past few nights. As she drifts off to sleep, her mind runs wild. All of the things she has figured out to be real, revert back to the tainted, Capitol versions of them. This results in a relapse.