A Funny Thing Happen (Midorima x Takao)

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Dictated to TadashiHamadaFan1
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Fanfiction
User: Bexar
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I slumped onto the wooden bench, not sure which was more depressing: the paper in my hand or the splinter said bench had decided to lodge into my left ass cheek. That was going to be a party later, trying to remove the tiny, evil shaving without any of the other Shutoku guys catching me. There wasn't exactly a lot of privacy to be found here in the training camp. That's all I needed to add to my problems, suddenly becoming the butt (hahaha butt, get it? ah yeah I crack myself up) of everyone's jokes. All around me were the hollow sounds of balls bouncing on the parquet floors, and the thudding and swishing noises they made as they hit the baskets. Dozens of feet ran up and down the gym, their rubber soles squeaking as they slid over the polished surface. It was just white noise to me, barely registering as I considered my dual dilemmas.

"What are you doing over here, Takao?" I froze until I realized the voice was not the one I was dreading. I wasn't about to be destroyed, at least not yet.

"Drawing up my last will and testament." I held up the document so my teammate, Miyaji, could see it.

He peered over my shoulder at the document. "You know, Takao, I've thought this before, but you're kinda strange. Why do you need to write a will, and here of all places?"

"Because I don't think I'm going to make it back from training camp alive. By the way, I put you in here. I'm leaving you the afro wig I wore for our class's cosplay cafe at the festival last month."

"Oh, nice, thanks-," Miyaji sounded admiring, before he caught himself. "Wait, forget that. Why do you think you are going to die here?"

"Because Shin-chan has been glaring at me the whole time," I replied morosely.

"Huh? Geez, I thought it might be something serious." He popped me in the back of the head.

"It is serious." Even to my own ears, my voice was whiny. I couldn't help it.

"That guy is always glaring, stupid. It's like, his eyes will fall out or something if he doesn't."

"Not like this." At that precise moment, one Midorima Shintarō, the very "Shin-chan" we had been discussing, jogged down the middle of the court in front of us. As he ran by, he fixed us with a hard, cold stare. Those eyes, the color of lush, vibrant spring when in full bloom, were anything but warm now. They slashed into me. It was like being glared at by an evil, menacing kappa. Well, if the kappa wore glasses, had hair, stood 195 centimeters tall, and was ridiculously attractive.

"See?!" I pointed my finger at his retreating back and turned to Miyaji. "That look there. Shin-chan is definitely super-angry with me about something."

Miyaji scratched his blond head thoughtfully. "I guess it was a bit more intense than his normal, snooty glower. Did you do something to piss him off, other than your standard annoying behavior that is?"

"I don't know!" It came out as a wail. Letting my "will" slide slip out of my fingers, I dropped my head into my hands and tugged on the ends of my hair. "Maybe he found out that I borrowed his towel after the bath last night because I left mine in the room."

"Well, he does seem anal about stuff like that, but I don't think that's enough for him to get too angry over," Miyaji said.

"Maybe he discovered I have been using his toothbrush because I dropped mine in the trash on the first day by accident."

"Uh, yeah, that's a little bit more personal than just using his towel and a lot more disgusting," Miyaji muttered the last bit under his breath. "He definitely might get upset about something like that. Hell, I would, too. So, like, don't ever do it, or I'll punch you in the face."

Yaoi Shots (Boyxboy)Dove le storie prendono vita. Scoprilo ora