catfish // mgc

☼ t w e n t y ☼

/// PSA: SHE'S KINDA HOT COMES OUT TOMORROW AND MICHAEL BROUGHT BACK THE BLUE STREAK AND IT'S ALSO LUKE'S 19 BIRTHDAY!!!!!! ///

For a long time I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to put myself back together, because letting go of the sadness would mean I had to redefine myself and sometimes I still feel like chasing the darkness, because I don't exactly know who I am without it. I realized I made a home out of something I should have never let it, and I hate myself for it.

Depression is something I've struggled with since I was twelve. And I think the reason why I don't know what to do with my future is because I never thought I'd have one. I spent so many days wanting to die that I never thought about that I would do if I... survived. I've messed up, a lot. I can admit that. But God dammit I refuse to be labeled as a fuck up. I am not a mistake. I am not a failure. I am not my downfalls.

So... why do I always feel like I am?

I wasn't sure if I believed in that stupid "time heals all wounds" quote. I wouldn't necessarily refer to it as healing, but more so as just covering your wounds up with a make-believe band aide until you're too scared to rip them off to uncover all those old scars and see what's happened to them. I did believe in taking time, that everything needed a little patience. Taking time to let things go, to realize what you want or more importantly, what you need. What's best for you, or something like that. Maybe that's essentially the same thing, though.

I was wandering the local book store with Ashton hovering weirdly behind me, almost in a protective manner, with my nose curiously in a book when a strange feeling washed over me. I put the book back on the shelf and grabbed Ashton's hand, squeezing it.

"What's wrong?" He asked, looking down at me. I looked around frantically.

"I just- c-can we go?" I stuttered, squeezing his hand tighter and dragging him towards the exit.

"Meredith?" Someone called out. I stopped dead in my tracks, slowly closing my eyes. Ashton turned to the sound of the person's voice, leaning over to me.

"Mae, who's that guy?" He whispered.

I shook my head frantically and moved my feet quickly and out of the store, making sure Ashton was still behind me. The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks when we got outside and I took a few deep breaths.

"Mae?" Ashton gripped my shoulders.

"Take me home please," I begged. I heard the door bell jingle and my heart stopped.

"Meredith," Dylan spoke, sounding out of breath. I stared at the ground and I could feel his eyes on me.

"Who's this?" Ash questioned, but I could tell from the sound of his voice that he knew exactly who it was.

"I'm her boyfriend," Dylan answered for me. I scoffed.

"False," was all I said. Dylan glared at me. "We haven't even talked in 6 months. I broke up with you, Dylan."

"But you didn't mean it. We do this all the time, baby. That's how we do," he smirked at me, running a hand through his dark hair. He took a step closer to me, and Ash stepped in between us.

"Don't think so, mate," Ash said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"She's mine," Dylan growled.

He shoved Ashton aside and grabbed my arm, yanking me in the opposite direction I was originally going. I struggled under his grip, already knowing the tightness would leave bruises on my delicate skin. Ashton jumped in, pulling Dylan back by the back of his hoodie. I tugged myself free, stepping back as Ashton spun Dylan around and socked right in the jaw.

"Don't touch her," Ashton spat, fuming. I gripped his arm, pulling him away. I nodded to him, telling him I was okay and that we needed to just leave. But before we did, I stepped up to Dylan, staring at my feet. I peeked up at him briefly, then back at my feet. I cleared my throat.

"I belong to no one."

/////////

(a/n)

yesterday was v v annoying i'm tired of waiting for this fuckboy anthem BOSDBWOFBE

OMG 1K VIEWS ALREADY???

i'd like to thank god and yeezus for having my back

no but really HOLY FUCK NUGGETS I'M ACTUALLY SPEECHLESS but honestly thank you all so much for reading this stupid story that i'm literally pulling out of my ass cause i always get ideas for stories and then after like 10 chapters i'm like "ok now what"

story time ok so some guy i used to talk to texted me last night and he always tries to flirt with me right so when he started to i subtly told him i had a boyfriend and i honest to god sENT HIM A PICTURE OF MICHAEL AND WAS LIKE ISN'T HE SO CUTE I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND AND THE GUY BELIEVED ME but in my head i'm like "haha jk that's not my boyfriend that's actually someone famous who doesn't even know i exist and i'm actually a psychopath who probably belongs in a mental hospital hahah ha"

send help i have serious problems

and i blame it all on 5sos tbfh

❤️don't be a silent reader babe love mE❤️

jfc that was a long AN i am so sorry