catfish // mgc

☼ f o r t y ☼

/// WARNING: extremely long and probably boring chapter but enjoy this gif of michael bc it has murdered me brutally :-) ///

Okay, maybe Michael was right. I overthink way too much.

But could you blame me? I think maybe you'd overthink too if you had to sit in the car for 45 minutes and then walk through a very rude and abusive forest for another 25 minutes, all while being blinded. Only to see that you're literally standing at the edge of a cliff with nothing but water and probably sharp rocks at the bottom.

Michael held me in his arms for a few minutes while I squeezed my eyes shut, making me feel safe even though I was certain he only brought me here to push me off the cliff. We shifted slightly and a breeze flowed through my hair.

"Open your eyes, Mae. It's okay."

So I did.

My eyes were wide open as I stared out at the ocean and momentarily, I lost my breath.

The area itself was fairly secluded. To my surprise, the drop from the cliff was only about 20, maybe 25 feet. And as far as I could tell, there were no sharp rocks at the bottom. All I could see was open ocean for miles upon miles. The sound of the waves crashing against the bottom of the cliff was soothing to my soul and I couldn't stop inhaling the smell of the salt water. This felt like home.

"Okay?" Michael asked, placing a hand lightly on my shoulder. I nodded and smiled, even though he couldn't see it.

----

"Tell me about your dad."

I had no desire to talk about my poor excuse of a father. But with the way Michael was looking at me, with those beautiful, curious green eyes, I sighed and stared up at the sky.

"He left when I was 8," I began, licking my lips. "Mom told me when I was 14 that he cheated. I just came home from school one day and he was gone. I remember crying over it almost every night for 6 months."

Michael's fingers slowly crept towards my hand as we lay in the grass. I could feel him staring at me. When his hand reached mine and he entangled our fingers, my eyes weld up with unwanted tears.

"I remember when we used to play hide and seek all the time -that was my favorite game as a child. He'd always give me 7 extra seconds to hide. Not 5, not 10, it was always 7. It sounds weird but it was the perfect amount of extra time I needed to hide and he somehow knew that. And he'd always let me help cook with him. I remember one time we were making chicken and dumplings and I accidentally poured flour all over myself and I got so upset, so he poured some on himself to make me feel better." I smiled fondly at the memory and Michael squeezed my hand. I sighed.

"I remember blaming myself. I got distracted easily as a child and it was pretty bad in school. My teachers always sent notes home about how I wasn't finishing any work, blah blah blah. I thought I was disappointing him so much that it made him leave. Imagine it? Being 8 years old and thinking you're a disappointment," I whispered, holding back tears.

"You're not a disappointment, Mae," Michael cooed. I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled weakly at him.

"I know that now," I replied. Which was true. It might have taken me years, but I finally realized I'm not a disappointment. "Thank you, though. At least one good thing came out of it."

"What's that?"

"I pushed myself. I worked my ass off in middle school and high school, striving for good grades and I got them. I was so good that I graduated early."