I Have to Have Him (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

This is a short but necessary chapter. 

            “Babe, wake up,” I heard Orion whispering in my ear. God, I really wanted to sleep in today after barely getting any sleep these past couple nights. Have you ever been awake but felt in a trance and no matter how badly you want to open your eyes you just can’t? That’s exactly what was happening to me right now.

            I mumbled something. I’m not even sure what but Orion thought it was funny. He chuckled before gently placing kisses along my jawline, my eyes, my nose, my ears, my forehead, my lips, and then my lips again, and again, and again until I opened my eyes.

            “Good morning, you,” he said, a bright smile on his face.

            “Morning,” I said back, barely above a whisper.

            “I went out this morning to get us some breakfast.” I raised a brow at him. “I got us, Le pain perdu de chocolat-bourré, a cuit des crêpes avec les baies et la cannelle, la cocotte de pain perdu de fromage frais de myrtille, le croissant d'amande de chocolat, le pain perdu de croissant avec les pommes de caramel douces, et le café.”

            I blinked a couple times to stop my head from spinning with all those French words. “As good and extremely, extremely sexy as that was coming out of your mouth I have no idea what you just said.”

            He smiled, sinking his teeth in his bottom lip. I can’t even explain how good it is to see him smiling. It didn’t matter what I said to him last night I couldn’t get him to calm down and he went to sleep crying and apologizing. So all of this now is a surprise.

            He picked up the tray that I now realized was on a cart next to bed. He pointed at every single item as he said: “Chocolate-stuffed French toast, baked pancakes with berries and cinnamon, blueberry cream cheese French toast casserole, chocolate almond croissant, croissant French toast with soft caramel apples, and coffee. You like coffee with your breakfast.”

            “Weren’t you afraid off get lost? You can’t just go leaving and not tell me.”

            “Je parle du français, vous savez?”

            “What?”

            “I speak French so I could easily ask for directions and get myself back here. I wanted to cook for you but there’s no kitchen.”

            I laughed at that. “All this isn’t necessary, you know?”

            “I know, but it was necessary for me. I’ve been bad to you and I want to be better for you—”

            “You’re—”

            He put his finger on my lips. “I love you and saying it is not enough. I want to prove it to you and from this moment on I will, everyday for the rest of my life.”

            “Someone sound awfully sentimental and corny,” I teased. He didn’t even crack a smile.

            “Someone tends to be sentimental and corny when he find out he’s never going to love another person more than he loves the person he’s with, how much he never want to spend not even another minute without that person, and that he’s willing to do anything and give up anything for the person he loves without a second thought. He’s sorry it took him and the love of his life almost breaking up to realize this.”

             Looking into his eyes, I reached my hand behind the back of his neck and careful not to spill the coffee I pulled him forward and kissed him briefly. “I forgive you.”

            His smile was incandescent. “I still have a lot of making up to do.”

            I was curious but I didn’t show it. What I really wanted was to let the whole thing go and forget about it. Orion on the other hand seemed to not be able to forgive himself. A few days ago I couldn’t care less what he wanted or how he felt, understandably, I was beyond pissed off.

            But now…

            “Here’s your coffee—espresso, I should say.” I chuckled and took it from him. I took a sip, closing my eyes and reveled in the strong flavor that awoken my taste buds. “Good?” He asked me. I nodded, wanting to say thank you but couldn’t resist raising the foam cup to my lips again. Rye waited until after I swallowed to put a chocolate-stuffed French toast in my mouth. It was warm and velvety. Molten chocolate oozed down the side of my mouth. Before I could lick it off Rye was all over it. The first thing I felt was his tongue pressed on my skin, then the tip went up and up until his mouth was covering my bottom lip. I was watching all of this. He had his eyes opened too as he sucked the chocolate off my lip.

            He blinked before meeting my lips again. The intensity shocked me but that only rendered me motionless for a few seconds before I reciprocated. I felt everything he wanted to tell me and then some. This kiss just confirmed everything I thought and felt—we were going to be okay.

            “There are some things we need to talk about,” he said tentatively. We swapped a few more French delicacies before I gave him my full attention.

            “Yes?”

            “You want me to go to school?”

            “I thought you said…”

            “I know what I said.”

            Hmm. “Do you want to go to school?”

            “You know I do. You have to understand that ever since I was ten years old I’d been taking care of myself and looking out for myself. I have this sense of independence and I really, really wanted to do this by myself.”

            “You can’t always do things by yourself. Even the strongest most powerful person on this planet needs help.”

            “I know. I get that now. I’ve learned and I’ve matured. I knew I loved you before but now I get it.”

            “It?” I inquired, smiling a little.

            He laughed. “‘It’ as in, when you love someone and when that person loves you back, you can’t love them fully if you only accept their love. You have to accept their help, their advice, the people they care about—everything that is that person.”

            “How old are you?”

            “Nineteen.” Twenty tomorrow. I can’t believe he hasn’t put everything together. Does he even know what tomorrow is? “You know this.”

            “You sound like a silver haired ninety years old wise guy.” He laughed. It was a sweet sound. “You’ve grown up so much.”

            “Well,” he said. “You gave me a lot of things to think about whether you intended to or not.”

            “I hadn’t, but I’m really proud of you.”  The thank you was written brightly in his eyes. He was proud of himself too. “We’re in Paris. What would you like to do?”

            “For now, can we just go under the covers, turn on the TV, and be together?”

            My answer was getting up and getting the remote, back to the bed and under the covers with wide awaiting arms. It didn’t take him long to be huddle up beside me, his head in the nook of my neck.

            I felt like I was home. “I love you, Rye.”