They Call It Depression {edited}

Chapter Four

Three days later, I'm graduating from sophomore year. I remember the last time I did this, when I was in high school. On the one hand, it seems like so long ago, but on the other hand, it feels like it happened yesterday. Not graduation itself, but everything that happened my sophomore year of high school. It was the year that changed me. The one I'll remember forever.

- - -

I stopped hanging out with my best friends, Jessica and Emily. I didn't want to risk making small talk, and being asked "what's new." I'd have to tell them what was going on, and that wasn't an option for me. I had to keep the pregnancy a secret.

Brandon was the only one who knew. And he was nice about it. He brought me chocolates and ibuprofen whenever I needed them.

But then one day, my friends found out. I thought Brandon had told them, so he and I got in this huge fight that lasted two miserable days. When I finally calmed down enough to listen to him, he explained to me that he hadn't told anyone, but he had seen Jessica approaching from behind when we were talking about it one day. I apologized for being mad and jumping to conclusions, and he said "it's okay," and we made up.

I thought it would be fine, but I was still worried about what my friends would say. They knew I was pregnant and that I'd been keeping it from them.

Instead of coming to me and making things right amongst us, Jessica and Emily decided to stab me in the back. They spread lies around the school about me; they said Brandon and I had slept together and that he'd gotten me pregnant. I couldn't believe those two!

I knew from that moment that our six-year friendship was over. I could no longer trust them. And they didn't bother apologizing; they just kept gossiping about me like we had never been friends. That's what hurt the most.

Everyone made fun of Brandon and called him all these nasty curse words. They said he "didn't know what he was doing" and was probably "bad in bed." They talked about what our baby would look like, and how ugly it would be. I didn't know how people could say such mean things. I thought people liked me and Brandon. But once they heard what Jessica and Emily had to say, they changed their minds.

Finally, Brandon exploded. He couldn't take it anymore. He said that I had two choices: I could either get an abortion, or confess to everyone that he wasn't the father. I didn't want to do either, but I had to make a choice. I put off my decision for at least a month. How could I kill an innocent, unborn child? And how could I risk the embarrassment of being raped by a 30-something-year-old man?

- - -

"Mackenzie Hart!" They've called my name. I'm supposed to walk across the stage and shake the principal's hand.

I'm in my cap and gown, and with a smile on my face, I cross the stage and do as I'm supposed to. The principal congratulates me and calls the next person's name.

I did it. I graduated into the junior class.

- - -

"We did it! We're juniors!" Nevaeh squeals, throwing her arms around me.

The graduation ceremony is over; now we're eating cake in the gymnasium.

A couple of seniors walk up to us. "Hey, guys," they say.

"Hi. Congratulations!" I reply, smiling.

"Thanks. I can't believe I actually graduated from college," a girl named Lacey says.

"Well believe it," I tell her.

They grin and walk off to get some cake.

"What are you gonna do now that school's out?" Nevaeh asks me.

"Well first I'm gonna visit my parents. And then me and Nathan are gonna start moving into our apartment."

"Fun, fun! I can't believe you're getting married in just a few days!"

"13, to be exact."

"Ah!" she squeals.

We hug, and then I ask, "So what are you gonna do?"

"Wait for you to get back," Nevaeh replies with a sigh. "I don't know yet. I haven't really decided what I wanna do."

"Well you better think of something! Summer starts tomorrow!"

"Not officially. It doesn't start til June twenty-first," she corrects me.

I roll my eyes. "Oh sorry, I forgot you were Miss Literal."

She laughs. "Well it's true."

"Yeah, but summer vacation starts tomorrow. School's out! It's time to have fun. Maybe you can steal a date with Ben while I'm gone?" I wink, and Nevaeh blushes.

"Don't jinx it."