They Call It Depression {edited}

Chapter Thirteen

Part 3~Redeeming Love

I sat in stunned silence. What did she mean by a "miracle?" I didn't believe in miracles.

"A miracle?" I asked.

"Yes," the old lady confirmed.

"Um...I don't believe in miracles."

"Oh come on. There's gotta be something," she insisted.

"There's a lot of ways this God person could make my life better. For example, he could give me back my friends and my boyfriend and, well, my whole life."

"I'm listening."

I took a deep breath and told her the whole story. There was something about this woman that allowed me to trust her a little too easily.

"Six months ago, I was raped," I began. "I was alone when it happened. The cable guy was there-he's the one who raped me. And after that, I became pregnant."

The woman, whose name I'd yet to learn, listened without interrupting.

"Somehow, my two best friends found out, and they betrayed me by telling the whole school I was pregnant. Everyone thought it was a silly mistake my ex and I had made. But we'd never even slept together! No one believed it when I tried to explain, though."

"Hmm."

"I didn't know what to do. The pressure was eating me alive. Everyone was teasing. It got so serious that Brandon-my boyfriend at the time-broke up with me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. He was a jerk. Anyway, I started going to parties and drinking a lot. I also cut myself multiple times. It became a ritual, a hobby. I knew it wasn't healthy, but I kept doing it for five months.

"Then I started sleeping around, too. I still do. I drink, and party, and cut myself."

Finally, the woman said something that surprised me. "Why?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. The truth was, I didn't know the answer to the question. I didn't know why I had started doing all those things, nor why I couldn't seem to stop.

After a few minutes, I finally said, "I don't know."

The woman took a deep breath. "Wow. What a story."

"Yeah."

"My name is Clara, by the way," she informed me. Finally. I was wondering when she would tell me.

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

"Have you ever heard of God?" Clara asked.

"No, not really. I mean, some people at my school are Christians or whatever, but I don't know much about this 'faith' they speak of."

"Do you want to know?" Before I could answer, she said, "Well I'm going to tell you anyway."

For some reason, that made me laugh. "Okay."

"God had a Son named Jesus," Clara began. "And He sent His Son to the earth to die on a cross for everyone's sins."

"Why would he do that? How could he give up his own child?"

She looked at me with raised eyebrows as if to say, I could ask you the same question.

"Sorry. Go on."

"Jesus died a horrible death by crucifixion. But it paid for the sins of everyone on the whole earth. God let Him do that because He loved the world and everyone in it."

"Even rapists, terrorists, and sinners?"

"We're all sinners, Mackenzie. But God forgives us all."

"So you're saying this God person could forgive me of my sins?"

"Most definitely. All you have to do is ask. The Bible says to confess your sins to The Lord and He will make your path straight."

"My path?"

"Yeah, you know, the path you're on in life. This position you're in, with the cutting and the drinking. Do you want to be there?"

I shook my head no.

"Exactly. So if you confess those sins to God, He'll forgive you. It's that simple. As long as you ask, He'll forgive you every time you do something you shouldn't."

"Hm." I tried to absorb all she was telling me. Could it be true? Could this 'God' really love me and want to forgive me? I didn't see how he could, after all the bad I'd done.

But Clara said he forgave the biggest of sins, and the worst of sinners. God loved all His people, she said.

I had a hard time believing it. I knew that I didn't yet. But I liked Clara, and I wanted to see her again. I wanted to know more about this God, and the forgiveness I so desperately needed.

"Meet me here again tomorrow. Same place, same time," I said.

That's when I knew my life was about to change.