Where Did The Little Rock-Star Go? (GXG)

Chapter 6

(Devon's POV)

It's probably 8:30 AM right now. I'm standing in front of the tour bus, getting ready to walk in.

Last night, I fell asleep at Sylvia's grave.

I sigh as I step foot onto the tour bus, closing the door behind me.

"Where the hell were you! Do you know how worried we were?" Alex practically yells at me.

I keep my head down, not daring to make eye contact.

"Where'd you go last night? You say you change but you probably went and slept at a girls house last night!" Jamie shouts at me.

My head snaps up at her. Anger boils through me. In a flash, she's up against the wall.

"Listen here," I say in a threating voice. "You don't know shit about me. You don't know about my life. You don't know what I've been going through. So before you make observations, you should think things through."

I let go of her.

I was doing perfectly fine before. Why is all of this happening? Why couldn't I go on tour with someone else? For fuck sakes, I just wanted to feel happy for once.

"I do. I know you went to see at least some girl." Jamie says, making me turn around. She's smirking at me.

"I did go see a girl last night." I admit. "But she's fucking dead. Yeah, I went to my ex-girlfriend's grave. Is that what you want to hear?"

Jamie's face drops, along with the others- excluding Skylar's.

"My first fucking girlfriend died of cancer. My first love. So yes, I did go visit her. Happy?" I snap, walking away.

After Sylvia died is when I gave up on love. I figured that no matter what, nobody will love me the way Sylva did. I started partying, drinking and smoking. I then got into sex. I turned into a player, just as my parents kicked me out.

I sigh as I sit down in the back. The door opens, revealing Skylar. She sits next to me with a sigh.

"How'd it go?" She asks.

"It..it was sad. I miss her, god I fucking miss her. But, I think if she didn't die, then I wouldn't be where I am now." I admit.

We sit in silence, probably caught up in our own thoughts. Hey, now the others know about Sylvia.

And now they probably feel like shit- good. They don't get to think that I've been with someone else, partying and drinking. They haven't even seen me in 3 years. So to me, that's utterly bullshit.

My phone then starts to ring, startling both Skylar and I. I answer it without checking the I.D.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hey! How you doing?" It's Taylor.

"Erm," I sigh. "I've been better." I stand up, walking out of the room. I walk to my bunk, getting in.

"How so?" Taylor asks.

"I still have feelings for her, Tay. And then I went to visits Sylvia's grave and stayed over night, I came back this morning and they were making observations about where I've been. Saying that I went to a party or some shit." I explain. Taylor knows about Sylvia too.

"Serious? They haven't even seen you in 3 years and there already judging you."

"It wasn't exactly them- just Jamie. But Alex did ask where I was." I sigh.

"Jamie's an asshole. But Alex..you still have feelings for her?" Taylor asks. I hear rustling on the other line.

"Yeah. I do."

I then hear a loud thump.

"Ow ow! Crap!" Taylor hisses. 

I laugh as she shouts out more curse words.

"Sorry. I fell.." Taylor mumbles.

"No! I thought you saw a unicorn!" I sarcastically say.

"Shush," She sighs. "I have to- something about a meeting. I'll call you later, k?"

"Yeah, love you."

"Love you too." She hangs up. I let out an exaggerated sigh and throw my phone softly on the bunk.

I sit in silence in my bunk. I can hear the distant sound of the TV.

You know what I can't believe? That they have the audacity to judge me. It's like they think they know me. No, they know the old me- not the new me. They knew the Devon that partied, smoked and got drunk. Not the one who has commonsense.

My bunk curtain opens, startling me. I look over and see Alex, looking down with guilt. I scoot over, patting the empty space next to me. She climbs on and sits, still not saying anything.

"I'm sorry," She finally speaks. "For yelling at you."

"You didn't know, Alex. But I hate how all of you judge me and underestimate me." I admit with a sigh.

"I realized that now. I realize that we don't get a say in what you did, because we haven't seen you in 3 years." 

"3 years is a long time, Alex." I put my head back.

"Why didn't you contact us?" Alex asks.

"About that," I laugh. "That night when I came home. I lashed out and threw my phone at the wall."

"I'm sorry." She looks down.

"Alex," I furrow my eyebrows. "You have nothing to be sorry for, so stop saying sorry. And you can't help that you love Jamie."

Ouch, fuck. Even me saying that hurt my heart.

"That's the thing," She quietly speaks. "I don't love her."

I look at her with furrowed eyebrows. Alex looks up at me.

"I don't love her. I-I. Fuck. I love you.." Alex admits in a whisper.

I swallow the lump in my throat as I stare into her hazel eyes. Her eyes say love, lust and hope. Before I know it, she's leaning in.

Her lips brush against mine.

"..Stop.." I mumble, pulling away. "I can't."

"Why not?" She asks, confused.

"I've changed, Alex. I love you, I really do. But I'm not ruining your relationship with Jamie, even if you don't love her."

I leave her with that and climb out of the bunk.

Did I do the right thing? Yes. Did I want to do the right thing? No. I wanted to kiss her. So badly.

'Then do it.'

I can't..she's with Jamie.

'Since when did you care about Jamie?'

That's true..since when did I care about her? Fuck it.

I make my way back to my bunk. I look inside my bunk, but she isn't there. I furrow my eyebrows and open Alex's bunk.

So much for that prep talk, huh?

Alex pulls apart from Jamie.

"I've changed, you've changed. Whatever, Alex." I scoff, walking away.

We've totally changed.