MCYT RANDOMNESS 2

Fishy Business, part 1

The greatest collection of prompts I've ever been left with.

‘Welcome, all you lovely hermits, to the first ever meeting of Hermitcraft’s Official Grand Wizard Academic Society of Happiness!’ Gem called, beaming, at the start of the newest Hermitcraft club.

‘Wooo! Hooray for wizard club!’ cheered the rest of the group in synchrony, a feat made a lot easier by the fact that the group consisted entirely of the single Wels, who, far from knowing anything about magic or wizards, was just bored that day and just decided to check it out. ‘So we’re uhh… starting with just us?’

‘I mean, Scar did express interest, and Jevin said something about it being a perfect opportunity for chaos… but they've not showed, so I guess it’s just us. Now, Wels, what’s the most important part of being a wizard?’

‘I believe someone said it was having a bigger hat than your fellow wizards to show dominance over them?’

Gem sighed.

‘Safety. The most important part of being a wizard is safety. Which is why we’re doing this behind Joel’s terraforming, so no one can see when it goes wrong or accidentally come into contact with evil magical entities. Now, Wels, the second most important thing is that you have a wand. Have you got a wand?’

‘Uhh…’ Wels, having never had a wand, and, to be honest, not entirely sure if he’d even seen one before, turned to his ender chest. Unfortunately, nothing appeared remotely wandlike, and his wood shulker was in his base still, so he couldn’t even get a random stick. ‘It’s in here somewhere…’ he lied, before finally noticing something that may be of use - a mostly broken enchanted trident. It didn’t take much to snap off the end, pulling it out.

‘Tada!’

‘Perfect!’ Gem beamed, hiding the fact she also didn't quite know how wizard magic worked. ‘Now, the first spell we’re going to learn is how to summon water.’

‘Alrighty.’ Wels brandished his ‘wand’, ready to learn.

‘So, we’re going to swish our wands like this, and say ‘aquus telequus!’ A spout of water appeared from the end of Gem’s wand.

‘Aquus Telequus!’ Wels copied.

Nothing happened.

‘Hm.’ Gem frowned.

Nothing continued to happened.

‘Bit of an anti-climax…’ Wels noted.

‘Is your wand faulty? You did it-’

Splat.

‘Perfectly?’

Gem frowned, staring at the ground where a single, live cod had just landed. And then at the ceiling.

Splat.

Another cod landed, not far from the first.

‘I think someone is pranking us.’ Wels decided. ‘GRIAN? JOEL?’ He stared up into the dark ceiling above, squinting to see if he could spot- ‘AH-’

A cod landed on his face.

And then another hit the ground behind him.

‘I don’t think this is a prank…’ Gem muttered, poking one of the cod with her wand. It let off a brief burst of magical energy before continuing to flap about uselessly. ‘I think you summoned them.’

‘Summoned them?!’

Another cod, 5 more, then 20, until the rain of cod was growing rather consistent, with fish falling all around them.

‘Deletus Piscus!’ Gem yelled, pointing her wand at one poor cod who just continued in its dying. ‘Oh dear. Wels?’

‘Uhh… Yeah?’ Wels, who’d just detached the 6th fish from his face, glanced over at Gem. ‘Do you propose a solution?’

‘Leave?’

‘What about the cod?’

‘Uhh… well… they’re not hurting anyone.’ Gem kicked one. ‘And we can’t get rid of them, so they are officially Joel’s problem!’

‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S MY BLOODY PROBLEM THAT THERE ARE BLOODY COD ALL OVER MY BLOODY BASE GEM?!’

Wels looked at Gem.

Gem looked at Wels.

Joel, on a block jutting out, 30 blocks above, glared at both of them, holding about 5 cod in each hands, with another slowly perishing on his head.

‘Uh oh.’ Gem said.

‘I believe this is what people call being caught red handed…’

By now, there was a solid layer of dying and dead fish around Gem and Wels. Joel continued to glare at them.

‘You’re going to bloody sort this, Gem, Wels.’

‘We don't know how!’ Gem insisted. ‘Wels summoned them by accident!’

‘In what situation do you bloody summon a bloody infinite bloody rain of BLOODY COD?!’

‘The first meeting of the Hermitcraft Official Grand Wizard Academic Society of Happiness!’ yelled Gem back.

‘Can’t you kill them?! Just-’ Joel grabbed a bow from his ender chest, firing a single flaming arrow into the sea of fish.

For a moment, it seemed like is plan of incinerating all of them was going to be successful, as one particular cod was set alight. Until, a second later, it fizzled out. Joel swore loudly, which apparently incensed the fish into dropping one right into his face. The flapping of his unexpected and rather unwanted irate oceanic moustache was quickly put to a stop by Joel yeeting it to the other side of the room.

‘BLOODY FISH!’

‘Is this- ever going to stop?’ Wels, drowning in cod, questioned. Gem, even more submerged than him, just shrugged.

‘I honestly doubt it.’

‘What?! But- my base!’

‘Well, we can't stop it! And you’re not going to actually do anything in here.’

‘It’s also bloody outside too!’ Joel snapped. ‘There’s a bloody waterfall of fish rolling down central highstreet into Impulse’s base! And, at this rate, it’s going to fill up his entire city. And then continue until the whole bloody server is fish!’

‘Fish apocalypse.’ Wels figured. ‘Hmm… But Impulse will know what to do with this vast quantity of fish… he could set up a lovely fish shop.’

‘Would the permit office allow it?’

‘I’m sure a truckload of these in their office would be enough to stop them complaining.’ Wels held up a handful of fish. By now, they were up to his knees.

‘I need to counter-spell this…’ Gem muttered. ‘uhh… I swear there’s a stop-the-effect-of-the-previous-spell in here somewhere… Wels? Any ideas?’

‘Well… um… UNO REVERSUS!’ Wels yelled, pointing his fake wand at the sky. Gem grabbed it, snapped it in half, and chucked it into the fish ocean.

‘No more fake magic! Wels! I thought you were responsible!’

‘He’s a Hermit of course he’d not bloody responsible, none of us are!’ Joel snapped back.

‘Wait, no, guys, I think it worked?’

‘What do you mean?! How would shouting ‘uno reverse’ at the fish rain stop it?! That’s not wizard magic!’

‘And yet… somehow it is…’

Sure enough, the fish were slowing, and it wasn't long until the final cod finished landing, leaving a question none of them quite wanted to find a serious answer for.

What were they going to do with them?