MCYT RANDOMNESS 2

The Arena - pt5

This took so long to edit.

PoV: joe

It appears, however hard I try to cope with what happened, I can't get past denial.

I get therapy from Elex, who’s arrived for that exact purpose. I talk about what happened and my experiences with other hermits – all the other Hermits, Xisuma returned spawn to normal, and Ren and Jevin returned from exile. I help organise Cleo’s possessions and read a eulogy at her funeral. I read book after book on handling grief, but a month on from the incident, I still expect Cleo to come flying into my base complaining about something or other that Jevin did. Or to catch Joel in the shopping district, bemoaning a lack of sales. Or to be chased around Holmdell and then spend hours chatting with Cub and Scar. Even though they have recovered physically, and to a degree psychologically, from everything, they remain hidden inside Cub’s base. And I miss them. I miss everyone. I miss how Hermitcraft used to be.

And I am in denial that it’s ever changed.

I say as much to Skizz, outside therapy, as we wait for Elex to finish his weekly catch up with Grian. He sighs, nodding in agreement.

‘It’s hard, man. I was always told Hermitcraft was this big, safe place, and now this happens, and… I’ve never had to deal with this before.’

‘And you weren't around in Season 5 and 6 when the ConVex, possessed Cub and Scar, were at large,’ I reply. Skizz nods.

‘I can't quite comprehend Clebert being…’ Skizz swallows back a sob. I fight my own. ‘Y’know… gone.’

‘I know.’

‘And Joel too… and Scott. And the fact that there’s no one I can just blame… I obviously can't blame Cub and Scar, what happened to them is absolutely awful…’

‘Blame the Vex. The horrible entity, or perhaps plural entities possessing Cub and Scar and, essentially, turning them into psychopaths against their will.’ I don't mention the rescue mission. I don't bring up the way Cub murdered that Listener in cold blood, barely even a hint of Vex influence beyond what’s normal.

‘Notch…’ Skizz mutters. ‘How are they doing? Cub and Scar?’

‘They’re very isolated. Some Hermits are avoiding them on purpose, for various reasons. A lot of the time there’s a do-not-disturb sign up, or they’re in the safe room instead… I think Scar particularly is struggling, and Cub’s just looking after him.’

‘Isn’t Rubbadub-Cub recovering himself too?’

‘He’ll just push it away until Scar’s improved.’

‘That’s… really not healthy. Why would he do that?’ Skizz questions, eyes widening with every little thing I say.

‘Cub’ll do anything for Scar.’ Again, the Listener’s murder rises in my mind. Just how furious Cub was, how long it took to calm him down.

‘I feel awful for not trying to visit. They’re my friends, and I’m just…’ Skizz sighs. I put a hand on his shoulder. ‘I think I’m scared? Am I really too scared to see my friends?’

‘I’m sure it’s not like that.’

‘Because every rational part of my mind tells me that it's the exact same Sir Scar and Rubbadub-Cub as before, but the part I’m apparently listening to is telling me to stay away.’

‘Yeah. I get that. The irrational part is telling you they’re dangerous, and your fear response is to stay away.’

‘Not even that they’re dangerous, that… I don't know… that I’ll make things worse by showing up, or I’ll just make myself upset seeing my buddies suffering.’