My Life: Congrats, You Lost Me

Chapter 8 - A Twist of Therapy

***June 13th***

I have been in this hospital for about 5 days and the doctor has said that my condition is stable enough to start with my physical therapy. The therapist comes into the room, so Becca and Allan leave soon after. She helps me roll from one side to another, getting used to the lack of help on my left side. She also starts to move my leg in different directions gently to stretch it and keep it in working order.

After the first 3 days I was taught how to roll to the side and sit on the edge of the bed, and was helped with moving into the chair. It was horrible and I broke down at one point when I couldn't quite make it to the chair. This prompted the therapist to help me into bed and allow Allan to come inside, making Becca stay out in the hallway.

Allan sits down next to me on the bed and wraps an arm around my waist.

"I'll never be able to do anything anymore. I can't even get to the goddamn chair two feet away." I croaked as he rubbed my little leg, trying to calm me down. It didn't help much though.

"I promise Jess, it'll be alright. You'll make it through this. Just like you make it through everything else. You will be the best, better than you ever have been. Trust me Jessamine, it'll be better soon, you just have to keep trying." Allan whispered this into my ear, making me calm down a little. He's right, I can't give up. As soon as I give up on myself I give up on my life and Becca too. I nod and wipe my eyes, thinking about everything I had been through since dad got sick. The only good thing I could think of was what became of Becca and Allan.

"Allan?" I look up into his glazed blue eyes. He really was one of the only good things to come out of my life.

"Yeah, Jessie?" He looked worried, like what I could say was that something was hurt.

"I-uh- never mind. It's not important." I turn my face away and silently scold myself. I can't say anything, he would just shrug it off like I never said anything, anyway.

"Of course it is. Whatever you need to say, just say it. You've never kept anything from me, that I know of," he says, his face covered with his concern.

"This isn't something I want to say right now."

"It's important though. You can't keep if from me now, you don't have anybody else to talk to and if you keep on letting yourself leave it be it'll only make you upset and-" I cover his mouth with my hand and shake my head, leaning into his side. "Please Jess."

"Don't ever leave me Allan. Just stay right here with me, and don't leave." I can feel him nodding as he rubs his hand across the small of my back.

"I promise you Jessie, I won't leave you," he says. He seems like he's about to say something, fighting with himself over if he should even say it. "I couldn't leave you anymore. I care about you too much," he blurts out. I jump up, thankful for all the pain meds pumping through my system. "I'm sorry Jessie, I know, I just-"

I cut him off as I wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face into his neck. Neither of us say a thing, we just sit there and enjoy the calmness of this empty room. I feel him smile against my shoulder as his arms go around me.

I lie on his stomach, my legs resting off to the side, resting in a way that I was taught by my therapist, so I would be able to keep moving the one once I got my prosthetic.  Allan twists my hair through his fingers as we sit in complete silence. Becca is finally let back into the room but doesn't speak. She just lays down on the little couch next to the door and goes to sleep. After all, it was 8:30 p.m.. Maybe I could make it through this. Day by day, hour by hour, that's how I'll live my life now. No need to plan for the future since my life is basically been completely changed for now. Minute by minute. Second by second. I'll do things for me, to make everything worth while.