Fix me (luke hemmings fanfiction)

Life is just another vesion of hell

(A/n listen to video through the whole chapter it's really sad also this could be triggering so sorry and my iPad is being a bitch and misspelling words and adding shit places it shouldn't be )
We finally make it to the mall."okay so meet back here in two hours and get lunch before we head to the spa deal?" I say as we enter the mall. We go our separate ways and shop till we drop. We meet back at the entrance both looking as if we are going to collapse from all the bags we have."ok so what do u wanna eat hol" I ask looking at all the choices we have. "Well your going to eat a salad so where ever you want" holly says reminding me I have to be her for the day. I was really looking forward to eating some KFC ughhh. "Am ok go to KFC and order whatever I'm just gonna run to the shop and get a salad cuz u are a healthy whore" I say jogging towards the nearest shop to get a stupid salad. I look for the one that has at least something kill eat and finally decided to get a salad that had. Chicken in it. I jog back to KFC and find holly sitting down devouring a snack box. I look at it wishfully but eat my stupid salad instead which isn't actually half bad."  You ready go to the spa" holly puts her leftovers in the bin and grabs her bags and I grab mine as we walk out of the mall. Luckily the leisure place was right next door so we didn't have to walk far."ok so here's your rob, take your clothes off and put this on and we'll get a full body massage and a full manipetiie and facial ok" holly hands me a rob after she signs in with her membership. I look at it in confusion but do as I'm told. I feel weird being completely naked under this thin piece of fabric called a rob. I join holly and we enter a. Room where we lie face down and these women come in and give us a massage. As I I lay there I just go off in thought.'why did it hurt so much when I found out Luke was with kayla. Do I like him? Or is it because he lied to me? Maybe I should take a break from him to sort my head out just have like a dextoic from him. Just keep to myself and only talk to someone if necessary but even if I do talk say very little so I don't get asked questions just separate myself from everyone which should be easy for me seeing as I did that for most my life. It's easy to become invisible but I need to stay badass so be bold in school but be a loner."ok sky we are finished lets go home" holly says smiling at me taking ,me out of my train of thought. I look around me to realise I'm sitting in a chair with my nails painted and toes in a basin. "Wait when did we get this done. I thought we were getting a massage." I say confused looking around trying to process what happened." We did silly and then we got our facials and that done you were daydreaming I guess" holly says laughing at me. I just smile at her. We walk back to the house and the whole way there holly goes on about how great it is to have me staying and how we can watch a movie when we get home. I just blank out till we're home. I realise Luke still isn't here which is weird."am holly I think im gonna pass on the movie and that tonight I just need a bit of time to think if that's ok" I say honestly not in the mood to pretend Im happy. She just nods and ii go upstairs and get into a pair of black ripped jeans a flannel and a red beanie. I grab my headphones and phone and run out the door. Ii throw my headphones on go onto spotify and click moods. I click feel good indie rock and put it on shuffle before running to the park. As I'm running it starts to rain. Ii don't stop I keep running and running until I'm at the park. I go to a tree and seat under it. Before I know it my sight goes blurry and I'm crying. I scream and pull my hair." I hate myself, why did I let him in. I tried so hard to build those walls so I don't get hurt anymore but I fucking let him in and he broke me. He tore me apart till there is only hate left in me." I scream. I cry and cry till no more tears come out. I look around me towards the playground that's just an earshot away.its 7pm and there about 5 teenagers around my age over by the swings they don't notice me but I notice them. I watch as they mess around laughing and having fun I remember when I was like that before I got depressed. I remember how I felt like I was happy again when I was with Luke but it's all over now. My happiness is all over now. I'm not needed anymore. I never was wanted that's why dad sent me to live with mum but she never wanted me that's why she left me and dad all those years ago. Maybe this is how my life is supposed to be and if so I don't want to live anymore. I don't one to live if all my life I'll be depressed and sad. I cry abit more watching the the people still playing around. I look up at the sky trying to stop all the thoughts running through my head. As I look up ii see. A. Rope hanging off the tree that is used as a swing kind of thing for kids. I think about it before finally deciding it's the right thing to do. Ii grab my phone and write out a long text for Luke.
"Luke the penguin 🐧"~
Luke I'm sorry I have to end it this way but I can't live like this anymore. I was just an average girl who always wore a smile. I was happy and cheerful for a short while.
Now in older things are getting colder. Life's not what I thought. I wish someone had told me. I told holly I was down but she let it slip by so from now on I'll keep it on the inside. I told myself I was. Alright but I was telling white lies. Can't you tell? Look at my dull eyes. I've tried to stop myself from crying almost every night but I knew there was no chance of feeling alright.summer came and all I wear are long sleeves cuz theses cuts on my wrist are bleeding through you see. I now I'm depressed. I don't want to admit it. I don't think I fit it. Everyone seems to miss it. I carried on like a solider with a battle wound bleeding out from every cut my body consumed. I had no friends at my old school. All alone I sat and if someone were to notice I would blame the cat. But those cuts on my wrist they were no mistake but no one cared enough to save me from this self hate. Things were going down never really up and here I a,m now stuck in this stupid rut. I know exactly what I have to do next. I'll climb up the tree and tie the rope around my neck. I'm writing this text with my hand shaking wild. Look at me now do you think they're proud of their precious child? I know my parents aren't the ones to fully blame.Its also this world that should bow down its head in shame. I sit down on the tree and look, out at the sky just don't think it's all be over soon. Ill jump off the tree as I take my. Finally breathe. It's gonna be all over now I'll be greeting death. You'll find me and fall down to the floor and now nothing can take back what you just saw. The teenage girl that you loved is just hanging here. My bodies pale and m,y face is violently bare. You'll see this text and open it with care all you'll do is stare and say how can this be fair? You'll start reading as the tears roll down your eyes. I,m sorry Luke but this worlds just not my place. I've tried for so long to fit in and I've com,e to realise this worlds full of sin.theres nothing for me here. Kim just a waste of space. I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race. I it's a disgrace, I was misplaced. Born at the wrong time in the wrong place. It's okay though cuz you'll see me soon. You'll know when your time has come, just look at the sky. As it shines bright throughout the night and remember everyone's facing their own fight. But I can't deal with the pain I'm not a fighter. You'll make it through just hug your pillow tighter. So let the world know that I died in vein. Because of my parents and the world around me, is the one to blame. And I know ion a year you'll forget about I'm gone cuz I'm not really something to be dwelled on. That's what they tell me all those kids at school. So I'm going by the law majority rules. My presence on this earth is not needed any longer and if anything I hope this makes you stronger. Your the best friend that I ever had such a shame I had to make you so very sad. But just remember you meant everything to me and to my heart, you're the only one that held the key. Now it's time to go m running out of space to text and yes I'm losing my fight but please just hold on tight. Kill be watching over you from the clouds above and sending down the purest and whitest dove. To watch over you and be my helpful eye. So this is it world goodbye. (A/n I if you don't no this song it's called her last words and I advise you to check it out i love it) by the time I send this Luke I'll be just ending my life.and don't think it's over you. A lot has been going on and I've been bottling it all up. Im at the tree by the playground we used to go to. I decided to end it here so my last memory would be of us and how once I was happy. I love you so very much please tell everyone I'm sorry and tell your slut of a girlfriend I'm coming to haunt her white little ass haha bye Luke" i type the last letter before sending it tears streaming down my face. I turn my music off and put my phone down by the tree. I untie the knot in the rope so I can adjust it to the right size. I grab hold of it as I begin to climb the tree. I sit down as I tie the rope around my neck. "Sky wait........" I hear a voice and look up to see...........
~Luke's POV ~
I'm at the park with Lily, cal,Mike and ash discussing about Lola and sky. We joke around for abit just having fun and a laugh like good old times. When all of a sudden I get a text from sky. I open immediately.
~sky 😘😍❤️~
Luke I'm sorry I have to end it this way but I can't live like this anymore. I was just an average girl who always wore a smile. I was happy and cheerful for a short while.
Now in older things are getting colder. Life's not what I thought. I wish someone had told me. I told holly I was down but she let it slip by so from now on I'll keep it on the inside. I told myself I was. Alright but I was telling white lies. Can't you tell? Look at my dull eyes. I've tried to stop myself from crying almost every night but I knew there was no chance of feeling alright.summer came and all I wear are long sleeves cuz theses cuts on my wrist are bleeding through you see. I now I'm depressed. I don't want to admit it. I don't think I fit it. Everyone seems to miss it. I carried on like a solider with a battle wound bleeding out from every cut my body consumed. I had no friends at my old school. All alone I sat and if someone were to notice I would blame the cat. But those cuts on my wrist they were no mistake but no one cared enough to save me from this self hate. Things were going down never really up and here I a,m now stuck in this stupid rut. I know exactly what I have to do next. I'll climb up the tree and tie the rope around my neck. I'm writing this text with my hand shaking wild. Look at me now do you think they're proud of their precious child? I know my parents aren't the ones to fully blame.Its also this world that should bow down its head in shame. I sit down on the tree and look, out at the sky just don't think it's all be over soon. Ill jump off the tree as I take my. Finally breathe. It's gonna be all over now I'll be greeting death. You'll find me and fall down to the floor and now nothing can take back what you just saw. The teenage girl that you loved is just hanging here. My bodies pale and m,y face is violently bare. You'll see this text and open it with care all you'll do is stare and say how can this be fair? You'll start reading as the tears roll down your eyes. I,m sorry Luke but this worlds just not my place. I've tried for so long to fit in and I've com,e to realise this worlds full of sin.theres nothing for me here. Kim just a waste of space. I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race. I it's a disgrace, I was misplaced. Born at the wrong time in the wrong place. It's okay though cuz you'll see me soon. You'll know when your time has come, just look at the sky. As it shines bright throughout the night and remember everyone's facing their own fight. But I can't deal with the pain I'm not a fighter. You'll make it through just hug your pillow tighter. So let the world know that I died in vein. Because of my parents and the world around me, is the one to blame. And I know ion a year you'll forget about I'm gone cuz I'm not really something to be dwelled on. That's what they tell me all those kids at school. So I'm going by the law majority rules. My presence on this earth is not needed any longer and if anything I hope this makes you stronger. Your the best friend that I ever had such a shame I had to make you so very sad. But just remember you meant everything to me and to my heart, you're the only one that held the key. Now it's time to go m running out of space to text and yes I'm losing my fight but please just hold on tight. Kill be watching over you from the clouds above and sending down the purest and whitest dove. To watch over you and be my helpful eye. So this is it world goodbye.by the time I send this Luke I'll be just ending my life.and don't think it's over you. A lot has been going on and I've been bottling it all up. Im at the tree by the playground we used to go to. I decided to end it here so my last memory would be of us and how once I was happy. I love you so very much please tell everyone I'm sorry and tell your slut of a girlfriend I'm coming to haunt her white little ass haha bye Luke"
I look over at the tree to see a girl climbing the tree. If I run fast enough I might make it I have to make it. I drop everything and run as fast as I can not bothering to explain to anyone what's happening. I run till I get to the tree just as I reach it ii see her seating there tying the rope around her neck. "Sky wait..." I say loud enough for her to hear. She stops what's she's doing and looks down at me tears in her eyes.
(A/n yay cliffhanger kinda whoop whoop so I really like this chapter it's currently 3am and I have been writing about an hour to two hours. As I mentioned earlier if you bothered reading it I said my iPad is being a piece of shiit and adding I everywhere and full stops because it doesn't like me. So quick update on my life yay rambling time. So I've been texting this guy and we started being friends and he was really nice ii really liked him and I kinda thought maybe he liked me to a little bit but he got back with his ex and stopped texting me so we haven't texted in about a month now. We used to text from the minute we woke up till we fell asleep texting each other. Ii really miss it so this is where my. Inspiration came from this chapter so thanks to the amazing guy who played me cuz you helped me. Write the haha any ways hope you enjoyed this and hopefully I'll update again soon love you all don't forget to comment + vote xxxxx p.s when I wrote this I thought it was Friday the next day I only just realised its fucking Monday sorry