Severed Ties

Chapter 14: Liquid Downfall

"Stan?" I breathed, looking out my window. There he was, down in my backyard at eleven o' clock at night. I had called in sick that day, so Stan didn't see me. Ever since early this morning when my father left, I haven't been able to love Stan like I did the night before. I didn't know why but, I didn't know if I could handle the disapproval from my own father. I loved Stan, don't get me wrong, I just, I
don't know.

I jerked open the window. Stan had his guitar with him, what the hell was he doing. "Dude, what the hell?" I whisper-shouted out the second story window. He smiled, I don't think he could here me. The raven haired boy stumbled forward a bit and looked up at me again.

"I'm gonna sing you a song, man! You're gonna love it!" He shouted, laughing. "You and me, huh Kyle?"

I brought my hand up to my face, I can't believe it. He's drunk again. "Stan, you're drunk." I shook my head, going to close my window."

"NO No no wait man just come down a minute!" He grinned, motioning for me to come to him.

I obliged. I walked downstairs quietly, ensuring that I wouldn't wake my mom or Ike up. I didn't give a shit if my Dad was back or not. I walked into the kitchen and glanced at the bathroom, I paused for a moment thinking about the past. I shouldn't have walked away...

I shook the thought out of my head and exited through the sliding glass doors that led to my back yard. There he was, sitting in the spot he had been standing in just minutes ago. I shook my head, I didn't want to be here, every single time we're in a backyard at night something goes horribly wrong. It's almost like its the same story with a different twist each time. But each time you twist the rope of the story, the potential energy builds up. Eventually it might snap. And then all you have is a shitty, broken, severed tie.

"You were saying something about singing?" I closed the door behind me, shivering as I stepped into the dark. Stan stood up once more. He adjusted the guitar in his grip and glanced down at his hands occasionally as he sang. I brought my hands up to my face, I couldn't believe he wrote a song about me.

"And oh, it feels so strange. One minute love, then powered by rage. So if you care about me, let's fly to space. I will meet you there... Someday." He looked up to smile and make eye contact with me. He sounded so good for being drunk. Stan continued, tearing up a bit. "My heart, my words, my part, today. Come with me, go to sleep, let's fly away... Your smile, all the while, you turn away. Chapped lips, Swaying hips, let's run away..." He set his guitar down and looked up at me, opening his arms wide.

"Oh Stan." I ran into his arms, feeling the chill of the night against my nose for the first time since last night. My warm breath cascaded past his exposed neck as we stood in silence. He moved his arms from around my shoulders, to my hips, where they gently lay as he looked at me. I took my head off of his shoulder and stared into his deep blue eyes. Some how, Stan managed to pull me even closer to him. I could smell the alcohol on his breath but I didn't care. I let him kiss me passionately. I ran my hands through his hair and pulled back, biting my lip.

"Stan, I love you." I breathed. I could feel tears in my eyes because I couldn't explain the love I felt for him. Of all the books I've studied, of all the poetry I've read I just couldn't find any words gorgeous or passionate enough to truly describe what I was feeling for him right then. Stan was all that I ever needed, and he was mine.

"I love you too." Stan rubbed his nose against mine, in the Eskimo kiss kind of way. I smiled. This boy- no. This man was the one for me.

"If only there were words to describe this moment, the moment happening right now between you and I. You're just so beautiful... I don't-" I tried to explain. But before I could finish, Stan brought up his gentle finger to my mouth, stopping me.

"We never formally addressed this but..." He got down on one knee, wobbling as he steadied himself. I stared at him in shock as he removed a small black box from his jacket. What the hell did he think he's doing? We were 15 years old going on 16. Gay marriage is clearly frowned upon here. This isn't right.

"Stan, what the hell do you thing you're doing?" I shook my head, bringing my hands up to my mouth.

He opened the box, it had a small plastic Crane machine ring in it. "Kyle Broflovski... Would you be my boyfriend?" Stan announced, staring deep into my eyes.

"Yes!" I squealed without hesitation. For the longest time we sat there on the cold ground saying nothing at all. Just smiling, playing with the green sparkly ring, and addressing each other as boytoy.

I almost forgot that Stan was drunk.

"Stan?" I stopped smiling. "Why did you drink tonight?"

He shook his head. "Doesn't matter." I aggressively sat up, it definitely mattered. Stan always does this, tries to make things that are a big deal into something that isn't.

"Stan it definitely does matter. I am genuinely concerned about you, what happened."

"It was the downpour today, the downfall. It brings me real low. The snow is one thing, but the rain is different. I don't know man." He shook it off, picking up his guitar. He realized that he just let it get all wet and got up to set it on my deck instead.

I sat there, wide eyed. I didn't know how to react. "Stan you need to tell me when you feel this way, I don't want you to go through this alone. You said it yourself, we'll get through this. Together."

"But that was about something else, Kyle!"

"You can apply it to more than one thing, Stan I love you and I know that drinking isn't good for you!"

"Kyle, I love you. And I'm sorry. I'll get better, I'll change."

"That's what you said last time, dork." I smiled weakly.

"This time for sure." He walked over to me and pulled me into a reassuring bear hug. "If All good things come to an end, then all bad things must be stopped." He whispered in my ear.

"Let's get some sleep." I said, pulling him behind me as I nonchalantly lead him into the house. My mom doesn't care much if I have company for the night, and she likes Stan. She knows I won't let it go too far tonight, and I know that as well.