Mixed Feelings

Depressed Again

Sonic's POV
I didn't do much after Shadow left, I just sat on the couch and thought about it. When I went to bed that night, I didn't sleep a lot. I wasn't used to not having him next to me, but I did fall asleep. Just not for very long. When I woke up I didn't open my eyes, hoping that it was all a bad dream and when I opened them, I'd see him beside me. I opened them to see an empty bed with only me. I started to cry. I couldn't bear that fact that he was gone.

Now here I am, sitting on the couch, doing absolutely nothing. I hadn't eaten breakfast this morning. I had hoped it was all a bad dream and Shadow was downstairs making breakfast. I raced down the stairs to find an empty kitchen. So I didn't eat.

I decided to at least watch the news, I guess everything has to hurt me though. The news was talking about our relationship. Clearly they didn't know it was over. This house feels lonely without him. My heart feels empty without his love. My brain is numb from all the thinking. My lips miss his lips. My eyes miss his eyes. My everything misses him.

Shadow's POV
I didn't really want to break up with him. I mean I still love him, but it wouldn't work out. I got death threats and was insulted for loving him. Nothing would've worked between us. I bet he's probably depressed again, but I won't go see him. I won't ever see him again. It's better if we stay away from each other. So I guess this is the end. There's nothing more for Sonic and I. Our love is over. I will never love again. I will never love Sonic again. I will hate him, as I always did.

Sonic's POV
Tails tried to see me today, I pretended I wasn't home. Soon after he left I got a text from Tails saying
"Hey Sonic, I went to your house and you weren't home. Are you on a date with Shadow? If you are have fun!! I just can't believe how cute you guys are. See you soon Sonic!!"

I started to cry. Why did he have to bring up Shadow and me. I hate people!! I hate my fans!! I hate paparazzi!! I hate magazines!! I hate everything!! Why couldn't I be normal!! Why did I have to be famous!! Being in the spotlight isn't as fun as teen girls think it is, everyone knows about your personal life, and if they don't like it, they hate. Ugh!!! I fucking hate people!!

After I cried for awhile, I decided to check my Twitter. (yes, he has Twitter) I had hate too, saying Shadow wasn't meant for me, and I was too good for him. I tweeted them back
"Shadow and I were perfectly happy until you came into the picture! Thanks for ruining my life assholes!!"
I didn't care if I sounded mean. I was depressed, because of them.

There were still paparazzi outside my house (Tails used to back door nobody knows about). I went outside to see if I could push through them. I couldn't. As soon as I got outside they started asking questions about my tweet. I couldn't get around them, and I was getting angry. So I yelled
"You know what?!?! You got what you wanted!"
I started to cry and continued
"Shadow and I broke up!! That's what you wanted, right?!?! You wanted me to be depressed!! You wanted Shadow to get hurt!! Well you know what?!?! None of you are fans!! Fans support me, not bring me down!! I hate all of you!!"
I pushed through the paparazzi and ran into a forest next to my house.

After running around the forest for hours, I found a tree right next to a cliff. I sat next to it and cried. I cried until my head ached and my eyes had no tears left to cry. My heart felt like it had been beyond broken, it was shattered. Unfixable. I was unfixable. I was completely shattered, and it wasn't Shadow's fault. It was theirs. The people. I wish I could say "Nobody can drag me down" but I don't have his love (One Direction reference, sorryXD).

I was tired and returning to my house wasn't an option. So I laid down next to the tree. Yea, I know sleeping in the forest isn't safe, but It's not like Shadow's gonna come and save me. I'd rather be dead then go through this much heartache. I had nothing left to live for, so why not take the risk.