Opposites That Aren't So Opposite

Chapter 29

I sat near the back of a dead end alleyway, holding the revolver in my hands. I stared at it, my mind trying and failing to process every thought in my head. It would be so easy. It would be reckless and cowardly but, it's not like I could get in trouble if I was dead. I can't be punished if I'm no longer alive.

But, you have to take care of Macey...

All the years of me looking out for my little sister rushed back and my hand shook a little. Then I ran a hand through my hair and shook my head. She wasn't my sister. She was just some girl I had been lead to believe was my sister. Maybe she'd known the whole time too. Had she lied to me also?

I gripped the gun and snapped the hammer back, the click resounding throughout the empty alley around me. I licked my lips and held the gun to the side of my head. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes tightly...

Nothing. My hand dropped and I rested my head back. I couldn't do this to Kyle... What would something like this do to him? I didn't want to hurt him. He was my everything. I couldn't hurt him this way. It was wrong and selfish.

But, it's not like we're married or something like that... He's just a friend. We're not even going out...

I put the gun's barrel to my forehead and rested against it. If it went off then fine. It wouldn't have been my choice. It would've be an 'accident'.

I heard scuffling and glanced at the alley's exit. To my surprise, I saw Bert jogging past. I stuffed the gun in my jacket and crawled around to the other side of the garbage can next to me, peeking out and watching him pass.

But, he was just at the club. Why was he here? Did he see me and come looking? I frowned as thoughts went through my head and I bit my lip. I didn't want him to find me. If he was looking for me it couldn't be for a good reason.

I waited for him to get a fair distance away before I left the alley and tried to make my way in the opposite direction. I wanted to deal with this alone.

I was just turning a corner when I heard Bert's voice behind me. "Kayson?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin and whipped around. He looked surprised but, relieved to see me as I backed away. "What do you want?" I asked.

He frowned, concern showing on his face. "Kayson, calm down. I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you." I growled.

"I just-"

"None of it matters anymore. I don't want to talk to you and I don't care what you have to say." The anger in my mood eased a little as I mumbled, "It's not going to matter at all..."

Bert looked confused but, then his eyes grew wide. "You did take it." He stepped towards me. "Kayson, please give me the gun. Don't do something stupid."

My heart skipped a beat as I realized he hadn't come for the reason I'd thought. I tried to think of a good lie but, as I failed to do so, I turned and bolted away.

I heard him start to chase me and call my name but, I didn't stop. I didn't want to stop. If he caught up to me I knew what he'd say. What he'd do. I didn't want that.

As determined as I was to get away, I ended up accidentally going down the alley I'd been in before. I came to the back of the alley and turned around.

Bert was panting and he put his hands on his knees. "Why... do you want it anyways? What are you going to do with it?"

I felt myself losing control of my emotions and I shook my head. "It doesn't m-matter. J-just go away. Please." I said as tears spilled down my cheeks.