Kiss Me ⇒ Camren

• 12 •

Warning: sexual harassment

Lauren

After what feels like forever, I force myself to tear my lips off of Camila's. I look at her making sure my face is unreadable.

My hearts beating fast and the butterflies in my stomach are going so crazy that it's actually becoming irritating.

I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the kiss. This can't be happening. This isn't possible. I can't have feelings for her. Camila Cabello is my best friend. I can't have feelings for my best friend. I can't have feelings for a girl.

I quickly move from Camila's lap and adjust the camera back to the way it was while the three loud ass girls continue chanting.

"THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!" Dinah exclaims, wiping away a fake tear and I internally roll my eyes while holding back a bunch of smart ass comments.

"Well now that you guys know," I begin, ignoring Dinah's stupid comment. "We're going to go celebrate our coming out with pizza! We love you guys! Bye!" I quickly click off the camera before the other four can say another word.

"Hey!" Three of four voice whine as I crawl over to the end of Ally's bed.

"Lauren, what the hell!" Normani exclaims.

"Yeah what was that?" Ally adds.

I only feel myself growing more angrier. Angrier for enjoying the kiss, angrier for agreeing with Simon, angrier for lying to the whole damn world so now I'll have to deal with these feelings and these thoughts and this confusion for god knows how long.

"Nothing." I mumble as I hop off the bed and leave the room, not bothering to even glance at any of them before I walk out.

I make my way down the hall and towards my room. Dinah's voice suddenly fills my ears. "So no pizza?!"

"Fuck off, Dinah!" I scream back as I reach my room, slamming the door.

Quickly grabbing my favorite do not disturb sign, I open the door back up for a split second and smack it on the front. Good thing I invested in that.

After closing my door back over, my feet immediately begin to move, pacing back and forth around my room. My heart is still beating fast and my thoughts are racing like there's no tomorrow.

There's no possible way I actually enjoyed that kiss. I'm straight. Straight. I like boys. Not girls. Not Camila.

Okay yes, maybe I like to stare at Camila a little longer than necessary, especially when she's flashing her beautiful smile. And yes, maybe I love to listen to her laugh. And yes, maybe I appreciate that her butt looks really good in tight pants. But I, Lauren Michelle Jauregui, am most definitely not gay.

Really Lauren? You're not gay? Then why the hell are you crying? I ask myself as I come to the realization that there's a tear rolling down my cheek.

Because I'm scared. That's why I'm crying. The voices in my head begin to argue.
Exactly. You're scared you like her. You're scared you're not straight. You're scared you're not normal.
That's not true. I am normal. I'm just scared that our friendship is ruined. I am straight. I am.
No. You like her. You know what you felt when you kissed her. You know you have feelings for her.