Kiss Me ⇒ Camren

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Lauren

It's been a week since Camila told me she asked Austin to pick her up. For this whole week, we haven't talked except for in interviews which are forced. Other than that, we haven't spoke to each other.

Ally, Normani, and Dinah still don't know about what happened. I didn't tell them because even though I know I should, I have enough respect to leave that up to Camila.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm still not absolutely furious with her. How could she, why would she set herself up for that? Why would she want to give herself up to some douche bag who treats her like nothing?

Even when I tried asking her, she wouldn't tell me. She just lied straight to my face and told me that she loves him, which actually made my heart clench in a weird way. I know it's bullshit, but I couldn't help but feel pain that she'd say that.

As angry as I am with her, I can't deny that I miss her and I hate myself for it. I shouldn't miss her. Yet I do. But I refuse to go to her. I'm waiting for her to come to me first and tell me the reason she asked him for this. Until that happens, I'll deal with the aching in my chest and only talk to her when I'm forced.

-

"So this one is for Camila and Lauren," The interviewer says, looking at the two of us.

Camila's fingers are interlaced with mine - just for show of course, but in this moment, I feel like nothing has happened between us.

I can feel Ally, Dinah, and Normani's eyes glued to me. Even though they don't know what happened, they do know that I'm on the verge of breaking and they do know that it's something serious considering Camila and I spend all of our time avoiding each other.

"How does it feel coming out to the world?" The interviewer asks.

I've been left to answer all the couple questions because Camila never says anything. She just sits there with a fake smile on her face, leaving it on me to bullshit everyone. Knowing that she's not going to take the question, I speak up.

"I guess the only way to describe it is amazing. We've hid it for so long in fear that people would try to get in the way of us, you know? I didn't want that. I wanted to keep it down low between the girls and our families so that no one could ruin us with drama. I really like to keep my personal life, well, personal. But I think I can speak for the both of us when I say that we're both a lot happier now. If it weren't for Camila convincing me, we still would've been a secret. As much as I love keeping her all to myself, I'm actually really happy I can show off the love of my life to the world." I finish my sappy bullshit answer, receiving an 'aww!' from the interviewer and the girls even though they know it's all made up.

"And you Camila?" The interviewer asks curiously.

I glance at Camila, seeing that she's looking down at her lap where our hands are laced together, resting on her thigh. She looks up for a moment to speak towards the interviewer and I catch a glimpse of her glossy brown eyes before quickly looking away, back to the interviewer.

"Just the same as Lauren. I couldn't have put it better." She speaks the words fast, faking another smile.

I glance back at her for another moment and notice that her lip is quivering ever so slightly. This time, my heart clenches at the sight of it and it hits me how much I really do miss her.

Maybe you should give her another chance to explain.
Or maybe you shouldn't because you're pissed off at her for lying.
Yeah but you also really like her and -
Oh no don't start with this you really like her bullshit. You're not a lesbian, Lauren.
Why do you constantly lie to yourself about this.
I'm not lying to myself. I'm -