Kiss Me ⇒ Camren

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Lauren

"Where are you going?"

Sighing a little over dramatically, I stop in my tracks.

"Out, Taylor. I'm going out." I say as I turn around to face my younger sister.

"With who?" She asks curiously, yet almost knowingly.

"Alexa." I tell her a bit harshly.

"Lauren, you've been home for five days and all you've done is 'go out.'" Slight sadness is evident in her voice.

Yeah, I've been home for five days and yes every day was spent with Alexa, Lucy, Melissa, and Luis getting high to forget about Camila, to forget about my parents fighting, to forget about how my mom is 'ashamed' of me but acts like she's perfectly fine when I'm around. We all have coping mechanisms...

But Taylor doesn't need to know what I do when I'm gone. All she needs is to think is I'm out with Alexa, at the mall or the beach or something innocent.

"Okay?" I question, not seeing her point.

"I... I miss you, Lauren." She admits quietly, looking down as she rocks on her heals.

Everything seems to stop for a moment. And then it all hits me like a guilt ton of bricks. Taylor has been here suffering through the arguing alone for nearly a month now. Maybe even longer if it didn't really start until Camila and I coming out as a fake couple. She's been completely alone.

You selfish fucking idiot.
It's not my fault that my mind has been consumed with so much shit that I came to get rid of.
It would be easy to get rid of if you just admitted to liking her. Half of your problems, actually more than half your problems would be gone if you just admitted it. At least admit that you might. Admit that you're confused. Admit that you're scared.
.........
Do it. You won't regret it.

"Lauren?" Taylor's soft voice cuts through my thoughts.

I look at her, meeting her sad eyes. "Yeah?" My voice is a bit shaky.

"Can you please just stay home with me today? Chris is going out to a friends and mom and dad already left for work and I just... you're only here for two more days and I want to spend time with you." She admits shyly and I feel a small smile on my lips.

Who said I can't spend time with Taylor as my coping mechanism?

"Yeah Tay, I'd love to spend the day with you." I tell her and her eyes turn a little less sad and a little more happy.

"Really?" She asks in genuine shock.

"Of course, I miss you too Taylor. And I'm really sorry if it hasn't seemed like I do." I tell her honestly and her smile grows.

"Come on, let's watch a movie." She grabs my hand and pulls me to her room, happier than I've seen her in all five days I've been here combined.

-

The movie finished about an hour ago and now the two of us are laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, and talking about life.

I've been debating on bringing Camila up since I agreed to spend time with her. I mean, I did say that Taylor could be a coping mechanism, right? Who said she couldn't help?

"Hey Taylor?" I fiddle with my fingers nervous.

"Yeah?"

"Can I um... if I talked to you about something personal, something that I've never told anyone before or even thought to talk about with anyone... I can trust you right?" The anxiousness in my voice doesn't fail to show and I silently curse myself for being so scared.