Loving The Mafia

•Chapter 11•

   I love you.

   Three simple words that hold so much meaning to them. I was stunned into silence as I stared at the ceiling. Lorenzo just told me I love you.

   I didn't know how to react to that -what to say, if I should pretend I hadn't heard him.

   It's not that I don't love him anymore to return the words. I've loved Lorenzo since I've met him. My love never dimmed for him over the years but the fact that he said that caught me off guard.

   It would have been on rare occasions Lorenzo would say those three words to me, to even have look at me the way Romeo would look at Juliet, for him to hold me with warmth in his heart and speak to me with love lacing his deep velvety voice.

  "Bambola?" Lorenzo's voice broke me out of my daze and I returned to face him. Tears blurred my sight as I stare at his handsome face.

  "I..I love you too," my voice cracked at the end as tears freely began to fall. I couldn't understand why I was crying. My heart was hammering; my breaths seemed harsh as tears trickled down my cheeks.

  "Ssssh..." Lorenzo cradled me into him," Don't cry bambola.." He whispered as he stroked my arm comfortingly slow. My sobs eventually died down but Lorenzo's comforting strokes didn't.

  "I'm sorry Lorenzo but.... I cant..be with you," I buried my face into his chest as fresh tears began rolling down my eyes. Lorenzo's heart rate quickened as the words left my mouth and I regretted it.

  He ripped his arms off me as if I burnt him. His eyes: anger, hurt, confusion and love were shown visibly before disappearing behind a full on red furious beautiful face.

  "What do you mean you cant be with me?!" His voice was engulfed with rage and his eyes were blazing.

  "Y-You - I can't Lorenzo. You're a danger to me. You're unhealthy. Loving you kills me inside because I know that one day.. Something bad will happen to you -or me even- and I won't see you again," by now tears were flowing more than ever.

  Lorenzo's face softened a bit and he came closer to me. I sniffed and he pulled into his naked chest," I'd never let anything happen to you. I will always return to you. Even if it's 2 am or the next morning, I will find a way."

  He ran his fingers through my hair as he said those words. His breathing was uneven but soft. His heart was beating a steady slow pace whereas mine was haywire. Lorenzo was everything I'd ever want but everything I'd never have.

  He is dangerous. Unsafe. Deadly. Sure he has his Romeo moments and I'm honored to be the only girl in the world to experience it but... Sometimes its just not meant to be. "Lorenzo... I'd like to go back to Manhattan or Seattle?"

  "You're staying..." He said into my hair," I'm not letting you go this time." His grip tightened as he grabbed a fistful of my hair painlessly. He tilted my head slowly with meaning to look at him," And that scumbag wont dare take you away from me."

 I knew he was talking about Adrian.. well Adriano but whatever. As much as I would love to stay in Renzo's arms and forget the world passing by, I cant. " I'm sorry Lorenzo but I cant stay." I unattached myself from him and scooted away from him on the bed.

 I couldn't look at him anymore. Hell I was scared to even look at him. I know Lorenzo like the back of hand. When we first met each other, we hated each other's guts with a passion. When we first met, his voice would have been daggers to my ears. His touch would've felt like acid to my skin. When I looked at him, I could've clawed my eyeballs out.

  Every simple thing he did infuriated me. But then, a part of me loved it. A part of me was attracted to his inhumanity as crazy as it sounds. The roughness in his voice, the dangerous glint in his eyes and his cold stare.

  And slowly, I found myself falling.

  Falling into the arms of a criminal. Falling into a death trap. And I fell too hard that it made me crazy. Insane. Deranged. But I loved it. I fucking embraced it.

  Lorenzo let out a deep frustrated sigh. I turned my head to look at him. His hair was rumpled from running his hands through it. His face was scowling down at the pillow and his hands were clenched into tight fists.

  Attempting to comfort him, I reached out to his shoulder. " Don't touch me." He hissed, his eyes burning with emotions. It made retracted my hand with such speed. I kept glancing him through my eyelashes only to see that his face nor his eyes softened after seeing my shocked, frightened state.

  " Maybe you'd like it if I treat you like a prisoner." he glared," Or maybe you'd like just like it if things were how it should've been when I met you and trust me bambola, you do not want to be six feet under."

  " Then why don't you make things the way it should be then," I glared as a tear slipped," Kill me. Just do it!" I shut my eyes tightly and fisted the bed sheets.

  " You know what." Lorenzo snarled as he gripped my neck roughly. Not too hard to inflict pain though," Maybe I should treat you like  a giocattolo. You'd like that wont you." With that he violently pushed me down on the bed.

  He got dressed into his suit and when he was finished he looked at me with the coldest eyes I've ever seen. " Get dressed and get out. Angelo will show you your new room and duties." After he walked out slamming the door in the process.

  I stared blankly at the door for a few moments, recalling everything that just happened. Tears began leaking from my eyes as I remembered the way he stared at me. His eyes was filled with coldness. So much hate. So much distance.

  Now I was sobbing as I got off the bed and started putting on some clothing. I got a maxi dress and went into the bathroom to wash my face. After washing my face, my cries didn't stop. They got harsher and hotter with every second passing by.

  I sat on the bed and pulled my knees to chest, weeping like a child. My shoulders shook with every whimper that escaped my lips until I started hiccupping.

  Knock! Knock! "Sorella?" Angelo opened the door slightly and poked his head in. He came rushing towards me, trying his best to comfort me. He pulled me into his chest and soothingly rubbed small circles into my back.

  "C'mon," He softly whispered," Lorenzo said to show you your room." We walked out of Lorenzo's room and down the hall. "You're staying in the room next to mine," Angelo smiled. I looked at him with a blank face and then looked forward. I heard Angelo sigh as we continued.

  My heart is in pieces right now.