Torn

Chapter 4

"Remember Sonny? My boyfriend at the time of my assault?" Amanda asks her counselor the next day.
"Of course." Amanda sighs.
"He just got released from jail and found out I was dating our District Attorney."
"How did that make you feel?" She cringes.
"I felt terrible. I knew I still had feelings for Sonny. And he called me in the middle of the night with suicidal thoughts-" she stops to regain herself.
"And I realized my boyfriend reminds me of my sergeant. The one who assaulted and raped me for years." Her therapist nods.
"Do you think that's why your PTSD is triggered now?" She asks.
"I thought it was Sonny at first. But when Rafi came knocking on Sonny's door demanding he tell where I was, I knew that it was Rafael that triggered it."
"Is he here?" Amanda glances through the glass at Rafael checking his watch.
"Right outside."
"Can I talk to him?"
"Go ahead." She walks out with Amanda.
"I'd like to talk to you." Amanda swallows nervously as he follows her therapist back. She calls Sonny.
"Sonny, I'm at the therapist. She just called Rafael in to talk, and I feel like when he comes out, he'll-" the door bursts open.
"So I trigger your PTSD, Amanda? Is that what I'm hearing?" She nods nervously. "Come here." She slowly walks towards him. He lifts his arms up to strike her. She tightens up to brace for impact.
"Rafael." Amanda opens her eyes and turns around to see Liv and Sonny with their guns drawn, full in police uniform.
"Don't hurt her." Liv nods back at Sonny. Amanda runs to Sonny, and they walk out. She starts to cry hard.
"I thought I was safe." She buries her face into his chest, and he strokes her hair.
"You are safe, Amanda. You're safe with us." She cries into his chest.
"I made a mistake. I made a mistake, Sonny. I should have never let you go to jail. I'm a terrible person, and you don't deserve this-"
"Don't deserve what?" He asks.
"Being here. You should have found a new girlfriend, because you're so attractive," he chuckles. "And not have come back for me."
"But I care about you." The doors open, and Rafael walks out, and pulls her away from Sonny and into his arms.
"You're safest with me." He holds her hair in his hands and kisses her with violent passion. She pushes him away into the street, and wipes her lips off.
"All this time I thought it was Sonny triggering my PTSD. But it was really you. Stay the fuck out of my life!" Sonny takes her away and into the police car. She slowly lets herself slip into a daze, and when she resurfaces, they're at the station.
"Stay with me here. I know you won't want to go home." She sits by his desk, shivering and scared. He hands her his large jacket, and she's immediately comforted.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Amanda. I know it must hurt." She nods, seeing him and Liv approach the doors. He glares at her.
"You-" he reaches back and hits Liv, running towards Amanda and Sonny, pulling a nightstick from his belt and threatening to hit him with it.
"Rafael, calm down."
"You should be the one who should be calm, Amanda! What happened with your sergeant that was so bad you had to blame PTSD ON IT?"
"Amanda, let's go." Sonny says, standing her up.
"You're just afraid to face your problems, Amanda. But trust me, you'll face them soon."