Torn

Chapter 13

He sits, staring at her beautiful face once again through the picture, her gorgeous blue eyes staring back at him.
"Please tell me you're not really dead. I need to know." He waits in silence for her response. A knock on the door startles him. He looks up and debates answering it.
"Carisi, it's Olivia." He stands up to go unlock the door.
"I know this is hard for you. It's hard for all of us."
"I don't believe you, Sarge. You didn't trust Amanda. You never did. Even while she was Special Vics with us."
"She was untrustworthy. You even know that, while she was cheating on you with our District Attorney." He swallows in fear." We still don't know where he is-"
"Sarge, I should be honest with you."
"Go ahead, Carisi."
"My jealousy got in the way-" Olivia stands up, bringing Sonny with her.
"What did you do to our District Attorney, Carisi?" She spits at him through clenched teeth.
"Sarge- I-"
"Be honest with me Carisi."
"I had nothing to do with him leaving!" He shouts at her. She throws him against the door and gets face to face.
"Tell me, or you lose your job. Your choice."
"Sarge, I had nothing to do with his disappearance." She lets go of his collar and blows a stray hair out of her face.
"I'll give you twenty four hours to come clean, or you can say goodbye to your badge, Carisi." She shoves him back over to the couch and walks out the door. His head pounds with her words still lingering.
"I'll give you twenty four hours to come clean." He doesn't think he can ever come clean. Even if his life depended on it.
"Even if my life depended on it..." He murmurs to himself, standing up to get his gun out of the holster. He points the barrel at Amanda's framed picture and shoots a hole through it, shattering the glass. Tears spill down his face.
"This is YOUR fault Amanda! Nothing but your fault! I can't believe you would do this to me on our wedding day, and make me almost lose my job! I hate you, Amanda! I hate you.." He slowly removes the gun from the photo and points it at his own head.
"No need to lose my job if I'm not alive to come clean to anybody." His finger travels to the trigger. He bites his lip raw, and smiles at the blood running down his chin, and then falling to his lap.
"I'm sorry, Olivia. No need to come clean anymore." The click of the trigger rings out through his small apartment.