Torn

Chapter 9

She opens her eyes, dazed and confused.
"Where am I? What happened?" She looks over at Sonny gently caressing her arm. She rips her arm away.
"I don't know what happened. But you shouldn't be here." She says.
"You either, technically." Olivia walks in saying.
"W-what?" Sonny stutters.
"They think she won't be able to clot the blood in time."
"They're doctors! They're supposed to do that for her!-" Sonny getting angry slightly scares Amanda.
"Sonny, I'll be fine."
"Do you need help? What was the deal?" Olivia walks up to her and asks.
"Sonny needed to confess. He's done something and I can't tell."
"We'll take him in."
"No, don't." She speaks up. "I want him here with me."
"Where is Rafael?"
"He left out of nowhere."
"He's been at the precinct-" Olivia says, getting a call. Amanda hears slight jumbled talking.
"Are you with her? Is Sonny there?"
"Yes, Counselor. Yes I got her a psychiatrist to talk to." Amanda pulls her hands into fists.
"Sonny, leave." She says.
"Excuse me?"
"Leave." He opens the door and walks out.
"Why is it that you only care about me now? When I got raped multiple times by my Atlanta sergeant, you didn't give a shit. When I was raped in prison, Olivia, you didn't care! Why does it matter now that I'm doing harm to myself?"
"We got you help."
"Threw me into the arms of a stranger. That's so soothing."
"Amanda, what's going on?" She asks with concern.
"You don't care about me. Nobody does."
"No. I mean what's really going on."
"Rafael left me a note saying that he needed a break. I never should have left Sonny." She says, a gentle tear dripping down her face.
"Where did he go?"
"He didn't say in his note."
"He hasn't been at work." She pulls out her cellphone.
"Fin. Call Barba and see where he is. Amanda says she hasn't been in contact with him and she doesn't know where he is. Do it now." She gets a call back.
"I heard from Barba."
"Where is he? Tell me." Amanda demands at Liv.
"We don't know yet, Amanda." She sighs. Sonny knocks on the door.
"Amanda, can I talk to you for a second?" She nods. Olivia walks out. He sits in a chair next to her.
"Why are you so afraid to love me again?"
"I'm not the one that's afraid! I'm afraid that you're being cautious around me. You don't trust me anymore."
"Who ever said that?" He says gently to her.
"I know it! I know I can't trust you anymore." She feels up the built up emotions from years ago resurfacing.
"I love you! Nobody can ever stop that. Ever." He caresses her in his arms.
"I love you too. But there's one thing I need to clear up and be honest about."
"Anything." She puts her hands on his face.
"I might have been partly responsible for Barba leaving. Maybe."