Breaking Point

Lullabye-bye

"Still no sign of her changing?" Scooter asked, and Justin shook his head sadly as he held Jennifer's cold hand tightly, willing her brain to work by itself again. "Give it some time, kid. She'll come around."

Justin shook his head as the tears burned at the back of his eyes once again. "What if she doesn't want to, Scoot? What if she just stays up there with him?" he asked, and Scooter sighed, pulling up a chair next to Justin.

"It's her choice, Justin. We don't really have a say in what goes on up there. Whatever she chooses, it'd be for the best." Scooter said, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him as he tried to help the kid he'd found so many years ago on the internet.

"I don't want her to leave," Justin choked out. "It's my fault she got in the car in the first place. I shouldn't have said those things to her, and I shouldn't have done what I did with Selena." By then the tears had fallen freely from Justin's eyes, staining them red.

Scooter sighed. "Why did you do that with her, Justin? What were you thinking?"

A soft sob escaped Justin's lips. "I don't know, I don't know! I was frustrated and I felt like Jen was distancing herself away from me and I didn't know what to do! I was gonna tell her but I didn't know how!" Justin leaned against Scooter's shoulder and sobbed. "If I could take it back, Scoot, I would. One hundred and fifty times over."

Scooter started to rub Justin's shoulder soothingly. "You can't take it back, Justin. It's already done. What you can do is wait until Jen wakes up again and apologize like hell. She's not really the forgiving type."

Justin sniffled. "But she's so nice..."

Scooter chuckled. "There's a Maribelle side to Jennifer. Those two have been friends for so long, but Jen... it takes a lot to make her mad. She doesn't tolerate cheaters very well, Justin, so you better be prepared to be on your knees, kissing the ground she walks on for a long time."

Justin let out a sad chuckle. "But what if she doesn't wake up?" just the thought of never seeing Jennifer smile again, or blush, made Justin's stomach curl unpleasantly.

"You gotta think positive, Justin."

"But Scoot, it's been almost two weeks. What if we were too late in getting her to the hospital??"

"Like I said, Justin. You just gotta... you just gotta think positive." Even as he said this, Scooter's voice cracked at the thought of never seeing Jennifer dance to a song, never hearing her voice, never seeing her happy anymore.

"Is this what she was like, waiting for him?" Justin asked quietly, after he'd calmed down a bit and took to holding Jennifer's hand again.

Scooter sighed. "No. she kept her emotions bottled up. She never showed anything but positivity the whole time. Every time he'd get out of a surgery, she'd help the nurses take care of him, and she'd do it with a smile.

Cried herself to sleep though. Every time the doctors had to keep him overnight, and she couldn't spend the night in his room, she'd get terrible nightmares, and she'd just cry herself to sleep."

Justin squeezed his eyes shut as the mental image of Jennifer sitting alone, curled up in a ball with a hospital blanket identical to the one they'd given Justin, crying her eyes out. He squeezed Jennifer's lifeless hand, and willed her to come back to him.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do if she doesn't come back, Scoot. This is all my fault!"

Justin rested his head on the rough canvas of Jennifer's hospital mattress and took deep breaths. Scooter rubbed his back gently, butScooter wasn't the one Justin wanted to be touched by in that moment. He wanted Jennifer. Her lips, her touch, her voice. He wanted it all, if only just one last time.

Justin stared at Jennifer's face. Eyes closed, blocking his view of her crystal blue eyes, a tube in her mouth, with tape covering her lips to keep the tube in place, covering her perfect heart-shaped lips, a machine robotically beeping, making her heartbeat not her own. Barely-forming scars from her face getting cut up by the glass from the accident she was in. A bandage around her head from the surgery she'd undergone three days ago.

"I gotta go see about postponing the tour for a while, until she gets better. Then I gotta try to get a hold of her parents again. I'll be back in a little bit, all right?" Scooter said, and Justin nodded. "Will you be okay here, by yourself?" again, Justin nodded. "All right, I'll see you soon."

Justin nodded a third time and continued to stare at Jennifer's face.

"Jen..." he said softly. "If you can hear me, Jen, don't leave me. I'm sorry for what I did, and I love you so much." He kissed her ice cold hand and closed his eyes, exhaustion sweeping over him; he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept without having nightmares.

Suddenly, without any notice, Justin started to trace small circles on the back of her hand, then started to sing.

It was the first time he'd sang in days. It was the first and only song he'd ever heard come out of Jennifer's lips.

Go to sleep

Close your tired eyes

'Cause tomorrow

When the sun begins to rise

There'll be a new day

A thousand opportunities

A billion new ways

To fall for you again

Go to sleep, my darling

I'll be here when you wake

Close your eyes, my love

Dream pleasant dreams, for my sake

One day when we're old and grey

We'll meet our end in the same way

Holding each other tight,

Kissing each other good night

And then I'll say

Go to sleep, my darling

I'll be here when you wake

Close your eyes, my love

So we can cross the pearly gates

One day when we're dead and gone

We'll walk the clouds,

Singing the same song

Go to sleep, my darling

I'll still be in your arms when you wake

Close your eyes, my love

Stay and hold me,

Keep me safe.

The tears fell in silent streams from his eyes and down his cheeks, onto Jennifer's bare wrist. He traced the faint scars, several shades lighter than her pale skin, and closed his eyes.

"I love you, Jen." Justin whispered, before falling into a restless sleep riddled with nightmares.