Poems - because words can be beautiful

panacea

you had an apple in your hand, red lipstick on your lips, and black, nerdy glasses. a dictionary in your lap, open to a page. your eyes down, your long blond hair in a mess of a bun that was starting to droop off theprecipice of your scalp.

you wore a faded gray open-knit sweater and your skinny jeans. your stunning blue eyes were cast down and i sat next to you, certain that you looked more beautiful than i that night.

i had minty chapstick on, and my old-fashioned reading glasses. my brown hair was in a mess around my shoulders, and i had a psychology textbook in my lap. i wore gray sweatpants and an old maroon t-shirt. my muddy hazel eyes were looking up at him, and he was sitting in a couch across from us.

i didn't know you were going to invite him, or i would have dressed up for the occasion. you were effortlessly gorgeous, and i wanted nothing more than to be you at that moment.

and then you sat up straight and pointed to a page. both he and i looked up to see it. you read, in that confident voice of yours,
"panacea. pan-a-see-uh. a solution to all difficulties. a cure-all."

i squinted at you and he looked strangely at you as well. you smiled your bright red lips and nodded.

"panacea. isn't that cool?"

"that can't possibly exist," i interjected, and you both turned to me. "nothing will fix the problems of the world."

he shrugged. "maybe the first move would be to get rid of pessimists."

the comment seemed pointed, with a large black arrow, straight at me. i tried to be offended.

"i am not a pessimist, just a realist."

and then you looked at me and shook your head in warning. you knew how much I wanted him. you tried to save me.
but he kept talking.

"no, a panacea must exist. but if it doesn't, it would be very cool to imagine one."

"imagination just puts sane people in mental hospitals and puts insane people in history books." i retorted angrily.

he regarded me with spite and shrugged. "maybe it's fun to imagine. unlike a friendship with you."

ouch. i had to say, that stung.

and then things got out of hand.

i ended up alone again, minus a boyfriend, minus a crush.

i took a black marker and blotted the word panacea out of the dictionary.

and i never thought of it again.