Chapter 46: Break Me

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Chapter 46: Break Me

Estela woke up the next morning as the bright autumn morning sun shone into the room. She squinted in the harsh light and attempted to move, but a pair of strong arms were holding her close to him and she remembered where she was.

She smiled to herself and pressed her face into Tom's chest as she turned to face him. He began to move and shift, a low groan rumbling from his throat as he opened his eyes. The split-second of confusion that flashed across his face as his eyes focused on her was priceless, but once he took in the sight of her, his face softened.

He ran a hand down her arm, his fingers warm and electric as he touched her, and she smiled again, never wanting to leave his warm embrace.

But today was the day she left, and the notion seemed to hit Tom the same time it hit Estela as his gaze hardened.

"You're leaving," he said, his voice raspy and deep as he traced her collarbone, his brow furrowed.

She nodded, unable to say the words aloud. The words that meant she was leaving him behind, and the words that meant she didn't know when she'd see him again. Or even if she'd ever see him again.

Tom got up into a sitting position and ran a hand through his hair, and Estela watched his chest expand as he sighed heavily and reached for his shirt.

She sat up too, resting her head on her hands as she watched him, trying to memorise every little detail she could. Because now might be the only time she could do that, and she didn't want to forget a single thing.

He turned to look at her as he buttoned up his shirt. "There's nothing I can do to make you stay?"

She frowned. "It's not my choice to make."

He hesitated before he shook his head. "What the hell am I going to do without you?"

The words shook her and she wasn't sure why. After all that had happened last night, she wondered why that would catch her off guard. She leaned towards him, and the newfound comfort between them made her feel completely at ease.

She shrugged. "I just want you to remember what I've told you. Don't let everything we've been through over the past year go to waste."

He furrowed his brow, his voice was heavy as he spoke. "The only reason I've been changing is because of you. With you gone, who knows what will happen."

She turned her entire body to look at him and their eyes locked. She wanted to drill this message into his brain - as deep as the words would go.

"You're strong, Tom. You're in control of your own your choices, your life and how you live it. As long as you don't give in to whatever darkness may be eating at your insides, you'll be fine."

She thought of the horcrux he'd given her, and the fact that he still hadn't mentioned it. She wondered if he ever would. But he'd already split his soul once, and despite the fact he'd given it to her, he was still one step further away from whatever little humanity he had left.

"And you don't need be afraid of death," she began, watching him closely for a reaction. "What you need to be afraid of is an unlived life. You don't need to live forever, you don't need to be immortal, you just need to live."

He shook his head slowly as the corner of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly, and he looked at her as though she was the most curious thing he'd ever seen. As though she was truly the only thing he couldn't manage to wrap his brilliant mind around.

"What?" she asked smiling shyly as she suddenly felt self-conscious.

"Nothing." He said, and he gave her a look that hit her so deeply it was as though he was looking into her soul, and she wanted to know what he was thinking as he looked at her like that.

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