Insecure - Tom Hiddleston Imagines Geared Towards Battling Insecurities

INFJ

A/N:  The next "Insecure" request was about weight, and since having already done that, I will continue on; but do not fear, because, remember, this is only Book 1! The next two requests were similar, so going to combine them!  Hope you like! (Fun fact: This happens to be my Myer-Briggs personality labeling as well!)

****

October 12, 2015

Is there something wrong with me?

Why is it that I'm helplessly awkward around other people?  I finally decided to do it and talk to the nice man that's always here in the bookstore, and I froze.  Sure, I got out a friendly "hi," but my voice cracked, my knees knocked together like tambourines, and my mind cleared before I could even realize he said "hello" in return.  And by the time I did, it had been to the point that the silence got awkward, and all I could do is attempt to force myself to leave and hid behind the bookcases and write to calm my nerves; the conversation I had planned in my head had vanished.

Maybe this is why I have so limited friends.  The friends I do have, either they came up to me, or I was with one of them when meeting another one.  I'm never good with small talk unless either the person is super engaging or it's a topic I cannot resist talking about.  I've tried everything else, but my hands need something to occupy themselves with.  I can't find my favorite locket, so I've been holding a paper clip in my pocket like in "Maid in Manhattan," but I keep scratching myself with it.  I'll have to find something else soon.

And when I do start to find my own voice, it seems like I'm putting up barriers and walls.  Maybe my sarcasm is a little much, especially when I'm joking around.  I'm just trying to get people to laugh like they make me do.  Maybe it's just my place to be entertained instead of being the entertainer.

I think he's gone.  Better go check.

~

Dear Woman Who Ran From Me,

First, you've lost your notebook, which is quite a shame, for it's a really pretty leather journal.  It reminds me of something I assume the great poets would write in.  Do you write or read poetry?  If so, then I hope you do find another journal like this to pen in.

Secondly, you didn't go unnoticed from me either.  Each time you come into the store, I wonder if it's going to be the day that I go and talk to you.  But I was scared too, you're really pretty and you read all the good books.  I felt inadequate.  What if I wasn't enough or didn't impress you like I hope?

And that brings me to my third point:  I was so happy that you had came up to me, I lost my breath too.  I thought, "Wow, she actually noticed me?" And then to find this and see that maybe I'm not something worthless, that you actually worried about how I would view you.  I only hope that what I confess brings you just as much joy as this did me.

And I hope I see you here again.  After I found this, I looked all over for you, but I think you've left.  And this is too nice of a journal to leave for someone to falsely claim in the "Lost and Found."  But I do hope that maybe we can trade in that paper clip for a cup of coffee...or perhaps tea, if coffee doesn't fancy you.  Then maybe you can tell me the jokes you long to say; I do love to laugh.

And I hope to get your name.  So I'll sign with mine.

-Tom

P.S. I also have your locket.  I've just been too nervous to approach you to return it.  I noticed that it won't open and that the clasp is jammed.  But I hope that maybe we can fix that together, too.