CHAPTER 12

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*Back to charcter*

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the white ceiling."She's awake," I heard a voice whisper. I'm stil kind of disoriented so I cant really distinguish voices. I heard the buzzer go. The next thing I knew, someone was holding my hand. Like I said, I was still mentally confused so a flinched. The hand let go.

"Yes, sir she just woke up.""Ok, please step aside," Some light shone in my eyes."Blood pressure good, heart rate is normal," I hear a woman voice say. After some mumbling, in a clearer voice, a male voice said, "Miss, how do you feel? Can you please tell us your name? And what is your age? Where you think you might be? And what is your family name?" My mouth opened by itself and a series of grammatically wrong string of words came out. "Winter...groggy... age is 15...I'm in the hospital...I think...my family...Kwon.." "Ok she's cleared. Tell the family and friends she will stay for another couple of days for observation. What do you mean how many days? The number of days varies, depending on her condition. Nurse don't you know? Tell the family members and friends to come in in threes or fours. Tell them she might not be able to recognise their faces, as her mental health is still unstable. Get the family to get her to mental hospital or rehab after this." A string of commands and some chidement was given by the male voice and then, he went out. The female nurse followed him out and I could hear fragments of her conversation with my friends and family. She gave instructions as the doctor had given. That was sufficient time to try and recall whatever happenned to me.

Ah! I remember. My failed attempt to commit suicide. Oh crap, now I have got through that rehab thing again with those psycologist who don't even understand me. The door creaked opened. It triggered memories of Minghao and I in the training room. I remember... My train of thought was interupted by a woman's voice

"Winter are you ok? Can you hear me?" Lots of whispering and chattering followed that one sentence. I propped my self up on the bed. I squinted against the too bright light. "YESS it's me. Sweetheart, why did you do that?" I just shook my head."You're going into rehab again," my dad firmly told me. After conversing for a while, with me just nodding and shaking my head, they went out to allow me to chat with my friends.

When Minghao entered, I cried. I just let out all the pain I went through; what I couldn't tell my parents. He immediately embraced me and we started rocking to and fro with my head buried into the space in between his shoulder and neck. Gina sat next to me and stroked my hair, comforting me. He whispered into my ear, "How could you do that? I love you so much; you're breaking my heart. I love you so much...Can you tell me why you did that? Are you ready to tell me or do you just want to stay like that? I really really really love you, you know that?" He just kept telling me how much he loved me. After a while, I shifted positions and with my head leaned against Minghao's shoulder I looked at Gina and softly asked,"What happened?"

She knew I that I knew what happened to me; she knew I wanted to know what happened to the rest. She recounted the whole story about how she found me in the bathroom. She told me how the rest reacted, all tired and sad and just really really wanted me back. At this point, I turned and looked at Minghao. He had really dark and heavy eyebags; his hair wasn't styled (as it was in Manse) and how pale he was and how dry his lips were. I touched his discoloured cheeks and look at him. He just smiled wearily and whispered, "See, I'm so ugly now, how do I promote my team's album?" I lowered my eyes and didn't respond. Gina then continued about how she was so angry at me for buying those pills and how she was so angry at herself for not realising. After she let out all her anger, her eyes welled up with tears and said, "You have no idea how much I missed you. You weirdo abstract retard," she brushed off her tears. "On a positive note, Joshua and you could have gotten closer. In fact you have, right?" I whispered, my very first words after I woke up. "Ok, using up your breath on scolding me? Comeon pleaseee Win,"she said as a tint of pink appearing on her pale cheeks. Before I could retort, she received I call. I peeked over her shoulder and I saw "jisoo joshua !!!" I giggled, "Go answer it, don't spoil cupid's plans," "Shutup," she rushed out of the in embarrasment.

I turned to Minghao and looked into his expectant eyes. "So, are you ready to tell me how in the world you had such a abstract idea to do that?" Minghao started out. I shurgged. "I just wanted to know what would happen. What will happen to everyone when I die. At least temporarily die. I knew 5 tablets wont be strong enough to kill me so..." I trailed off. He lightly punched my arm, his eyes full of anger. "SERIOUSLY??!! YOU-" I cut him off by pressing my lips against his. I longed for him so much. Not like in a sexual way, but in a way where I knew, if I was with him, I would be safe and I would be protected. During the time when I blacked out, I was so vunerable, noone to protect me. Even if I did protect my self, those depressing suicidal monsters just kept coming back. I tried fending them off; I really did. That is, until the day I swallowed those pills. Until the day I gave in to those monsters. I wrapped my arms around him. He pressed his lips against mine, deepening the bittersweet kiss. "I love you too. I really do. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me,' I whispered into his lips. I felt his tears trail down my own cheeks and onto my arm. His hands hugged my waist area, puling me into his protective arms, as if he just wanted to protect me from everything else. Brushing his hair aside, I hugged him tightly before returning to his soft lips. He shifted his head so our faces could fit each other's; like that of the pieces of a puzzle. We paused for a few minutes as I brushed his hair that was covering his eyes. I looked at them and saw how his eyes seem to contain the whole universe. They were beautiful. They were just starry. He pulled my neck in and our lips touched again. This time however, was just little pecks and soft biting of each other's lips. We were just enjoying each other's compny. After like what, infintiy years, he pulled away, lying breathless, next to me. He leaned forward and touched out foreheads together; our noses that were covered in cold sweat touched each other as we shivered. He suddenly pulled away. "Why-""Shh... I think I hear seventeen." As expected he had identified Jun's voice. Talk about brohood. A few seconds later, Seventeen and 7 seas burst in.

Minghao climbed down from my bed and hugged Jun. Jun seemed stunned but nevertheless, hugged the younger one back. "WE THOT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE~~" The girls cried out dramtically. They all hugged me before chattering all at once at the same tme. Good thing my room is the Class A one, a single bed. Otherwise, they would have been thrown out for being too noisy. Mingyu rushed forward and hugged me tight. Except his hand was getting twisted by Minghao from behind. "OWWW wha the-" Joshua broke into the room and chided Mingyu, "NO SWEARING!" Gina ran into Joshua's back as she entered the room. "Oww... what happened?" "Sorry..." Joshua massaged her head for her. "Oooo Gina and Joshua, why did yall come in together?" I playfully asked. Catching on the joke, the maknaes and Hoshi, Seungkwan and Dokyum, cried out,"Joshua and Gina sitting on the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" I laughed. Joshua dropped his hand and looked embarrased. Gina's cheeks were as red as an apple. The teasing went on until we were too loud and the nurse chased them all out. Before he left, Minghao interwined our hands and planted a kiss on my nose and whispered, "Laugh everyday like that ok? Love you, I'll try to come tomorrow." I waved him goodbye and then leaned back, slipping into sweet dreams..


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