Our Complicated Love Story |Oh Sehun| #Wattys2016

Chapter 7: Truth

"Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see the, the girl I am...isn't me."

She ignored his first knock. Flinched at his second one. "Jin-Ah? Are you in there? It's Sehun." She tried, she tried to ignore him, but the sudden pull between them made Jin-Ah get up and open the door a crack.

"I-i can't let you see me, Sehun." Jin-Ah said, her tears still thick in her voice. "I can't have you look me. You can't see me when I'm breaking." She finished, confusing Sehun.

"What are you talking about? Are you okay? Did something happen? Just let me in, Jin-Ah." All his questions, all his prying was exactly what Jin-Ah didn't want. She hated being interrogated. He gently pushed the door open, but Jin-Ah mustered up all of her strength, pushing it back.

"Please, you can't see me. You can't see this pathetic side of me. The broken girl that lives deep in my heart." And that was breaking point for Sehun. He forcefully made his way into the apartment and Jin-Ah quickly shielded her face, even though the apartment was too dark to see anything anyway.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" Sehun asked, flipping on the lightswitch. He closed the door, as Jin-Ah turned around, pulling her hood over her hair. "What are you doing? Why won't you look at me?" Tears were still streaming down Jin-Ah's face.

"Sehun." Jin-Ah said, her voice breaking, a sob escaping from her mouth before she could say anything. She felt his hand on her shoulder, which she quickly shook away. "Don't." She said and Sehun's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What with you?" He asked, grabbing her wrist rather roughly and turning her around, which sent a striking pain through her arm. She whimpered loudly, snatching back her arm and groaning slightly. She pulled back her sleeve, showing her bandage. Blood could be seen seeping out from under the white patch. Sehun's eyes widened.

Jin-Ah looked up at him, his eyes widening even more when he saw her bruise. "What the hell happened?" He asked, stepping forward, but Jin-Ah just took a step back. "What happened to your arm?"

"Accident. Cooking." Jin-Ah said, but Sehun wasn't falling for her lie a second time. He grabbed her wrist, pulling it forward and ripping off the bandage, revealing her perfectly straight cuts. His breathing became uneven. He grabbed her other wrist, pulling up her sleeve, pulling off the bandage, showing her cuts and her scars.

Without even knowing, Sehun's eyes had filled with salty tears. He abruptly turned around and left the apartment, leaving Jin-Ah alone to bask in her depression once again, but this time she wasn't crying over herself, she was crying over Sehun.

~

Sehun went to the dorm, slamming the door when he entered, startling every other boy in the apartment. He didn't answer questions. He went to his room, finding it empty and slammed that door, locking it. The boys were confused, never seeing their maknae act that way. Suho, being the leader, went to the door, knocking softly. He could hear the faint sniffles from Sehun and wondered what had gotten him so upset.

Slowly the door opened a moment later, revealing Sehun with tears running down his cheeks. He let Suho enter, before sitting on his bed, putting his face in his hands. Suho closed the door behind him, before leaning against it. "What's up? What happened?" Suho asked.

Sehun sighed, wondering if he should tell him or not. About Jin-Ah cutting herself. He sighed again, more deeper this time, tears still slowly leaking from his eyes. "Jin-Ah cuts herself." Sehun said quietly and quickly. Suho blinked, wondering if he had heard him right.

"What?" He asked, bewildered. Sehun nodded, his face still buried in his palms. "Why?" Was Suho's next question.

"She's bullied." Sehun said, recalling what Jin-Ah had revealed to him. Suho sighed, sitting next Sehun and rubbing his back to calm him down. "I need to talk to her." Sehun said, before quickly getting up and walking out the room, his mind already made up.

~

Her tears had stopped. Her eyes had dried. She had cleaned her wounds, putting a bandage on the fresh cuts, but leaving the older ones uncovered. She pulled on a different sweatshirt, this time her Totoro one and sat on the couch. She said nothing, she thought of nothing. Her face and mind just a blank slate.

The door opened and closed. She wasn't bothered to look over. He sat next to her, pulling her to him and into a tight embrace. He sat back, his arm around her shoulders tightly, her face buried in the crook of his neck because she felt she could cry again.

They said nothing, staying in the same position for a few minutes before he dared to speak. "I can't say I understand. I can't say I'm not upset. I can't say I'm not mad." His voice was soft, just barely reaching over the sound of a whisper.

"I can't explain myself. I'm depressed. I'm bipolar. I have issues. And to make myself feel better, I think I have to feel pain to get back to being my normal self. I'm bullied. And I'm broken." Jin-Ah said as her answer. There was silence between them once more. Jin-Ah looked up, surprised to see tears once again running down Sehun's face.

She reached up, doing the same thing he had done for her. She wiped them away. Jin-Ah was now leaning away from Sehun, her hand caressing his face gently as she kept the tears at bay. Sehun's eyes were closed. Seeing him cry made her want to cry, but her tear ducts had long dried out. Or so she thought.

Despite her fighting, tears soon filled up her eyes, falling slowly from them. "I feel so pathetic. I made you feel this way, and it breaks my heart." Jin-Ah said, her voice breaking. She removed her hand from Sehun's face and turned her back to him, covering her mouth and muffling her sobs. His eyes opened and he saw her shoulders, bobbing up and down due to her sobs.

He moved closer, snaking his arms around her waist and pressing his chest against her back. She continued to cry into her palms although having him at such a close proximity made her feel safe. "Shh, shh, shh. Don't cry. You don't have to cry anymore." He whispered, his warm breath tickling Jin-Ah's earlobe. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as Jin-Ah's cries began to cease.

Sehun carefully tugged at Jin-Ah's wrist, pulling up her sleeve and beginning to trace her nine scars tenderly. His slender fingers slid over her skin in the most gentlest manner and Jin-Ah watched as one finger at a time went over the straight lines of her scars. "Now that I see them up close, they are beautiful, as you are too." Sehun said, sniffling with his chin rested on Jin-Ah's shoulder.

Jin-Ah let out a short breath, her side aching in pain due to her large bruise. As Sehun's arms began getting tighter around her frail waist, her breathing was becoming uneven and the pain became harder to bear. "Sehun. You're holding me, a little too tight." Sehun loosened his grip.

"Mian. I just don't want to slip away from my touch." He said and Jin-Ah chuckled slightly at his explanation, although the mood was grim in the air. Sehun loosened his grip once more, allowing Jin-Ah to turn around in her spot, finally facing him again after many minutes. Both of their tears had ceased to exist, the faces dry.

They stared deeply at each other, neither daring to look away. Sehun reached his hands up, holding Jin-Ah's face gently in his hands. She placed her hands on his, her small fingers fitting in with his. And then slowly, he began to lean in.