eighteen » l.h

45.

how are you guys?

"Hi baby, where'd you go?" He spoke as he walked down the stairs. When he reached the last step he stayed there and pulled me towards him by my arms.

"I was so worried about you," He raised his hands to my face and cupped it. "You just left out of nowhere before I could ask you what your dream was about." His thumbs traced undefined patterns on my cheek bones.

As I stood here in front of him, I felt my heart break. He has been nothing but good to me and all I've done in return is hurt him. Calum is genuinely a nice person, he will go through everything and anything just to see a small smile appear on your lips.

I remember him telling me that he hoped I could at least jump a puddle for him while he was already crossing the Pacific Ocean for me. I promised him I would and I did, but in the most fucked up way ever.

He doesn't deserve anything I bring to him, it's all chaos and destruction. He deserves heart-warming kisses and unconditional love.

I can't give him that.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He spoke with a soft voice and used his thumb to catch the single tear that had slipped out of my eye. I hadn't even noticed my eyes were rapidly filling up with tears until now.

"Elle, you can talk to me." He said a little bit over a whisper.

Elle.

I couldn't help but let the sob escape past my lips, the name falling out of his mouth and into my head, igniting every single emotion I had within me, along with all the memories.

It was endless pattern of this.

"Baby, please. Just talk to me." His voice cracked, making me look into his teary eyes.

I have to tell him.

And I did tell him.

I told him about everything; my dreams, my thoughts, my feelings for Luke, everything.

I looked into his eyes the whole time, watching him emotionally break down in front of me. It started with his bottom lip trembling then a single tear escaping his eye, soon turning into multiple tears and choked sobs. I watched him grasp onto the wooden railway of the stairs and clumsily take a seat on one of them. I watched him staring at the floor before letting his head rest in his hands as convulsive gasps fell past his lips.