the day i met him ↠ phan

Part 5- Hurt

I woke up in Phil's house again. I had to go to school again. Dammit. I dreaded this, it's just a place to get made fun of and get humiliated what's the point anyway. Violet was the only reason I wanted to go today. She's so fun to be around I could talk with her for hours and still have more to say. Thinking about her makes me want to go so I decide its time to get up and do my daily routine. I got up and chose my clothes. Same as yesterday of course. And I went to go check my weight. I noticed I lost a few pounds. I smiled knowing that I've succeeded in this. I'm finally progressing. I finally have control. I walked out the restroom with a real smile on my face this time. Although I'm not done yet, I still have a while to go.

"Dan? Are you ready yet? I'm going to take you today" Phil called from downstairs, making my day a bit more. "yeah I'll be down in a bit" I get on my coat, it's typically a warm weather but since it's November I get to wear more oversized hoodies.

I hop in the car and wait for Phil to start it, but he doesnt. "Erm, Phil are you okay?" he sighs and nods his head, I know he's lying but I decide to ignore it. We get to school and I see Violet waiting outside and when she sees me she waves. I guess she really meant it when she said she had no other friends. I stepped out of the car and said goodbye to Phil, giving a warm smile but receiving a weak smile in return. Something is up with Phil and I have a feeling it isn't good.

I stayed quiet most of the day, I knew Violet could tell something was wrong but she didn't ask. Thankfully. She gave me a ride home this time to Phil's house. I thank her before stepping out and going into the front door. When I walked in I saw Phil sitting on the couch with a strange girl I've never seen before. He stood up immediately and looked my way.

"Dan I want you to meet Katie" she grinned. I felt my heart shattering at those words coming out of his mouth. I felt like everything stopped. I couldn't see anything or hear anything besides those words that I dreaded came out of his mouth. My stomach dropped and I felt like I was going to throw up. Why was this happening to me? The one man I truly loved....found someone else. Its because I'm fat and ugly and stupid and annoying right?

Yeah that's why you have to change.

I faked a smile and weakly said "Hi i-im dan" we shook hands briefly before I ran upstairs. I could hear Phil calling for me but I didn't care. All I cared about was staying locked in my room, wallowing in sadness. I locked my door and began thinking. How could Phil do this to me? I thought he felt the same way.

Of course not, your second choice as always. You'll never be good enough for anyone. Especially Phil

I started sobbing into my pillow I don't understand. Why. Why me I can't stop crying im so weak and pathetic. I just want to sleep forever. I want to hold Phil all day and night. But of course that won't happen because of her.