RANDOM!!!!!!!

funny quotes

~~~Young enough to know I CAN, Old enough to know I SHOULDN'T, Stupid enough to do it ANYWAY.

~~~According to parents we're too young for love, too old for fun, too smart to play dumb, and too dumb and too immature for grown up conversations. Its no wonder teens are so rebellious.

~~~Roses are red violets are blue if you dont shut up im gonna punch you.Roses are red your eye is blue cause you didnt shut up when i told you to!

~~~Everyone is entitled to an opinion? Really? Cause everytime i express mine it causes an argument.

~~~(i kinda made this up at random but it does sum up my life very well lol) My world is a square! In my world unicorns eat skittles and poop rainbows and rainbow butterflies then wander around till the fine the edge of my square world and fall off and go 'SPLAT'.

~~~I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse when most of you can stand up to a spider.

~~~Heres to kids who memorize song lytrics faster than vocabulary word (im guilty of this!!!)

~~~Bank Manager-What is your qualification

"im a ph.d"

"what do you mean by ph.d?"

"Passed high-school with difficulty."

~~~To all the girls who wear a lot of makeup: take it easy, its a Face not a coloring book!! (NO Girl should wear makeup your all beautiful in your own speacial way no matter what you think!!!!)

~~~Her nagging is a sign that she cares, her silence means shes plotting your dealth.

~~~Running like a ninja when your laptop displays 10% batery life (I do that anyway cause if you didnt know im secretly a ninja.....well i guess its not a secret anymore......i hope my fellow ninjas dont get mad if any of you read this please tell me your not mad at me for telling that im a NINJA)

~~~M.A.T.H

mental

abuse

to

humans

(I dont believe abuse is something to joke about but i dont like math)

~~~If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 year old and tell them its santa or act like you interested then pretend to snore and hang up when they start asking if your awake and/or ok

~~~Bored? Simply send a text to a random person sayin: "I Pregnant" (it really does work better for a guy because well your a guy. Girls tend to be called 'things' when you say your pregnant lol)

~~~The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

~~~Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

~~~Good friends dont let you do stupid things........Alone

~~~The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory

~~~Immature:A word boring people use to discribe fun people

~~~Seeing a spider is nothing it becomes a problem when it dissappers

~~~Shes likes him, he likes her, everyone knows except them

~~~Im so busy doing nothing that i have no time to do anything

~~~Dont consider your self and ugly person consider your seld and beautiful monkey

~~~You can not cure crazy, you just have to beat it with a stick everyonce in a while

~~~Silence is golden but duct tape is silver

~~~There are three sides to every argument, your side, my side and the right side

~~~My heart and brain are in a war. Who should i listen to? Screw this, ill listen to my stomach and go get some food

~~~During a test people look up for inspiration, down in desperation,and left and right for information

~~~Admit it at some point in your life you stuck a ball up you shirt and pretended you were pergnant

~~~I forgive and forget because i have a good heart and a terible memory

~~~warning:My sense of hummer may hurt your feelings, I suggest you get over it.

~~~revenge is sweet *insert evil laugh here*

~~~With great power comes a great electricity bill.

~~~I throw my Spanish in the air sometimes saying AYYYYOOOO, NO COMPRENDOOOOO.

~~~Right now I feel like an idiot you'll see why in a minute...

3 most difficult things to do in the world

1~You cant count your hair

2~You cant wash your eyes out with soap 

3~You cant breath when your tongue is out.

Now please put your tongue back in and tell me I'm not the only one who feel for that. I don't know why but I had to try am I really the only one. Is it bad that my dog is looking at me like I completely lost it.

~~~How normal people flirt

"hey Sexy;)"

How I flirt

"If you were a tree, you'd be a good tree."

~~~Pardon me, sir gangster? Your trousers are descending from your buttocks.

~~~Everything happens for a reason but sometimes that reason is that your stupid and make bad decisions.

~~~Sometimes your knight and shining armor is just a retard in tin foil. 

~~~Only in America would people Exactly one day after being thankful for everything they have, go and practically kill others just to get new things.

~~~I'm not crazy my reality Is just different from yours

~~~All my life I thought air was free, till I bought a bag of chips.

~~~I hate when people see me in a grocery store and are like

"What are you doing here?"

I mean really

"Oh you know just hunting some elephants"

Seriously people sometimes

~~~Be for speaking please connect the tongue to the brain

~~~When people talk about you and cut you down behind your back just remember they took time out of their pathetic lives to think about you.

~~~Talking about how annoying the kids in the grade below you are but convincing your self you were nothing like that last year.

~~~Rules Of Love:

For Men: ~You have to know her, to love her.

For Women: ~You have to love him to know him.

~~~You never realize how boring your life is until someone ask you what you like to do for fun.

~~~We live in the age when pizza gets to your house before the police.

~~~