North Carolina Stupid Laws

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It is a felony to steal more than $1000 of grease~~~Because i have a $1000 to spend and i defenitly want to spend it on grease!!

 

A bill has been passed that restricts local planning agencies’ ability to use climate change science to predict sea-level rise~~~...uhhh... I dont even know what that means so... NEXT

 

~~~The mere possession of a lottery ticket is illegal in North Carolina and may result in a $2,000 fine. Repealed ~~~Wow a lot of people are gonna be fined a lot of money for buying a peice of paper with hope and wishes of winning a lot of money that they wont win...

 

~~~No one may be a professional fortune-teller, and if one wishes to pursue the practice as an amateur, it must be practiced in a school or church. Repealed by Session Laws 2004-003~~~But i wanna be a fortune teller!!

 

~~~It’s against the law to sing off key.~~~Welp Im screwd good bye everyone ill be in jail if you need me hey maybe ill meet some of ya there

 

~~~Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.~~~Comere elephant come plow my cotten feild here in north carolina...

 

~~~While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.~~~ Cause some one sones really gonna check to make sure...

 

~~~If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.~~~Ok then how many husbands does a hooker have?

 

~~~All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.~~~And your going to check?

 

~~~It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.~~~What if you pray first?

 

~~~Oral sex is considered a crime against nature.~~~Yes because we're killing the trees!!

 

~~~A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.

 

~~~Serving alcohol at a bingo game is not allowed.~~~But my grandma needs her alcohol!!

 

~~~Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them.~~~DRUG DEALER: hey! you forgot the tax dont make me call the cops on you POLICE OFFICER *FIVE MINUTES LATER*:Why are you arresting me he's the one who didn't pay the taxes...

 

~~~A three dollar tax must be paid on all white goods sold.

 

~~~Organizations may not hold their meetings while the members present are in costume.~~~BUT I'M SUPERMAN I HAVE TO BE IN UNIFORM IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS AT THE MEETING

 

~~~Bingo games may not last over 5 hours unless it is held at a fair.~~~Yes because we all want to sit around for five hours playing bingo at home

~~~Women must have their bodies covered with at least 16 yards of cloth at all times~~~EVEN IN THE SHOWER?!?!?!?!?!??!??!!!????!?!?!

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