nineteen

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It's two in the afternoon when there's a knock on Aurora's door. She groans and pulls herself out of bed to politely answer the door instead of ignoring it like she used to when she was hooked on drugs.

Her hands rub at her eyes before she stands on her toes to look through the tiny peephole. Aurora isn't sure if she's happy to see the familiar head of curly hair or not and she hesitates for a long moment before eventually opening the door for her ex-lover.

Harry's eyebrows briefly knit together. He shakes his head and meets her eyes with an almost pained look. "Can we talk?"

Aurora notices that his hands are shoved in his pockets and he's gently rocking on his heels, something that he only does when he's nervous. Puzzled with his behavior and still half asleep, she moves aside and lets him in as she mumbles, "Sure, I guess..."

He's kind of staring at her again and she has no idea why.

Harry's piecing things together because she's wearing one of the shirts that he gave her back when they were dating. She wouldn't hold on to it for no reason. Hell, he didn't even know that she still had it.

Aurora stands in the kitchen, glancing at him curiously as she pours herself a glass of orange juice. There isn't much that she can say because he's the one that asked to talk and she's got no idea what he's here to talk about.

Harry twists his fingers on the counter top and sighs lightly before he starts the conversation that brought him over in the first place. "Do you still have feelings for me?"

Aurora's dark eyes meet his, searching for answers of her own behind his question. "You already know that I do."

Almost as an afterthought, she adds in a slightly harsher tone, "Don't worry, you've made your point clear on more than one occasion."

He's frowning now and he doesn't know how to continue the conversation now that he knows Carter's right. She wants him to fix things with Aurora, but all he really wants is Carter, Carter, Carter.

"Look, I know that you don't like Carter, but she's the one that told me no because I can't leave things this way with you. I honestly don't know what to do, Aurora. She wants me to fix things with you, but all that I can think about fixing is how your heart still wants me while my heart wants someone else. So, what do we do? Please, tell me because I've got absolutely no idea how to get past this."

Near the end of his speech, Aurora notices that his features have softened considerably, his neutral expression now one of sadness, and she actually feels a little bad about still loving him.

She can't help it though. She loved him once and she screwed up just for the hell of it and, maybe, if she hadn't made that huge mistake, he'd still want her—would still be with her, and not Carter.

Her fingers tap aimlessly on the glass in her hand as she avoids making eye contact. "I screwed up back then. I really did, and I know that, but I also know that I wasn't myself when that happened because of all of the drugs. I broke your heart, which meant that you could move on, but you never broke mine that way. Although, you've gotten a lot better at that recently.

"I think that the only way I'll really get over you is if we tried again. But you're infatuated with Carter and, while that hurts, I can't stop myself from thinking about what might have happened with us if I didn't take you for granted like I did. And I also don't think that Carter told you to fix this. Why would she care for me at all after everything that she's heard about me and what she knows herself?"

Harry runs a hand through his hair, only to drop it and lift both hands to his face for a good while as he contemplates how to respond to everything that she's just said. He never knew that she regretted what she'd done to him, let alone that he hasn't broken her heart yet with all of the terrible things he's said to her.

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