Masterpiece [h.s]

twenty four

Carter wakes to familiar strong arms wrapped around her and her head on Harry's chest. If it was any other day, she would've smiled to herself as she listens to his heartbeat and takes notice of how his chest rises and falls gradually with each intake of air. But today isn't any other day and she pulls herself away as soon as she thinks about what's gone on between the two of them in the last twenty-four hours.

He was asleep until she pulled his arms from her waist and sat up against the headboard.

She's staring out the window with a sad look in her eyes and he wants to pull her back into his arms and ask her what's wrong, but he doesn't because he knows that it's his fault and she'll just push him away.

"You know, after she told me what happened, I didn't think that anything was beautiful." A sad and very light laugh passes through her lips before she continues with that sad smile that he saw the night before. "I looked out this window to the view of the city that I've adored for the month or so that I've been here and I didn't feel anything. Then I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I poked at my skin and pulled on my lips and my hair and I hated myself all over again because I thought, why would someone actually want to stay with someone like me?

"I'm not pretty and I'm not interesting at all. Then, it started to make sense why everyone I'm with cheats on me. And I kind of just sat here, in the middle of the bed, wrapped up in that red blanket, and I cried because I felt so stupid for letting it happen again. And here you are, in my bed the very next day because, even though I hate you so much right now, you're the only one that can make me feel better."

Harry's starting to feel the guilt eating him alive again and he doesn't know what to say. When he showed up at her door, he planned to give her his journal and leave. But when he threw his planned speech out the window and spoke from the heart instead, he completely forgot about giving her space to make her own decision.

Now that he remembers, he pulls the worn leather book from the nightstand and holds it out to her, "I forgot to give this to you last night. I want you to know what it says inside, even if you hate me for the rest of your life."

Carter looks at him curiously, her hands carefully accepting the journal, their fingers lightly brushing before she pulls away. "I didn't know that you kept a journal."

Harry nods and the corners of his lips lift ever so slightly. "I know. That's why I want you to read what's in it."

She nods as well, her fingers carefully exploring the worn and smooth leather before she sets the book down on the nightstand beside her.

They sit in silence for a while before Harry finds himself asking, "Was he any good?"

Carter knows that he's talking about her late night confession and she actually finds herself laughing a little. "Absolutely not. He's got size going for him, but other than that he's got nothing."

Harry smiles to himself and decides to get out of bed and leave her alone, "I should go."

Carter doesn't make a move to stop him. She watches him with sad eyes as he dresses and gathers the few things that he brought with him on his heat of the moment flight.

She notices that he didn't even bring a change of clothes and she finds herself asking, "Do you want your shirt back? So you don't have to wear that one again?"

Harry shakes his head, "No. I gave it to you and I want you to have it even if you hate me."

It's silent again. Harry's at the door and Carter's still on the bed, propped up against the headboard.

She watches him turn the handle before he changes his mind and turns around to face her. "Is there any chance that you'll ever forgive me?"

His voice is soft and careful, like he's trying not to wake a sleeping infant. Carter looks at her hands and twists her fingers together. "I don't know. I just—I just need you to leave me alone for a while."