Adopted by Janiel

Chapter Twenty Five

Joey runs up to me, half limping, as soon as the front door closes behind me, engulfing me in a hug.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Cass" He whispers, fingers running through my curly green hair. "I'm sorry I snapped like that, it had nothing to do with you. I was just on edge because of my manager and stuff and I was exhausted and I didn't mean it, Cassie. Please...I don't want you to be afraid of me. Please, Cassie, can you just forgive me? Please" Joey begs, his arms never letting go.

Without warning, my knees buckle and Joey wraps a tighter grip around me.

"I forgive you, Joey" I whisper. "Just, with my past and all, it wasn't your fault"

"Yes it was...I did it Cass. I provoked all those awful memories out of you"

"Stop blaming yourself, Joey. You blaming yourself for this is no different than blaming yourself for each and every one of my panic attacks. You don't control these things, I do. I love you, Joey...please just stop blaming yourself for all this stuff with my past" With each word I speak, Joey's grip tightens around me.

"I love you, too, Cassie...that's why I blame myself for these things. When you hurt and there's nothing I can do to fix it, it hurts me Cass, it really does" Joey pouts unintentionally, his bottom lip poked out.

"We watch Lost?" I question in a small voice and Joey nods, smiling.

"Sure, I'll go get Danny from upstairs" Joey tries to pull away but I refuse to let go, whining. "What's wrong?" He whispers.

"Don't go" I cry.

"What? What's wrong, Cassie?"

"Please, just please don't go"

"Sit down, Cassie; sit down" I sit down on Joey's lap against the door.

"What's wrong? What's up, Cass? You just seem so scared" He whispers and I reach over, hugging him tightly.

"I don't know, I just don't want you to go...please don't go"

"Why? Why what's wrong?" He asks, kissing atop my head.

"Nothing...can I just come with you?"

I hate not having a reason for feeling like this, it just happens. It's the first time something like this has popped up around the guys, and I can only imagine how confused and worried about doing something wrong Joey must be. Sometimes I just get like this, and it happened all the time at the orphanage. I was alone then, and I've experienced the bad side of being in these moods, the alone side. If I'm alone during these things, bad thoughts cloud my mind.

For a second, I consider telling Joey to go away, to go get Daniel, but then decide in the end that that's a bad idea, that I'll just be sick with nerves and give myself a panic attack.

"Sure, Cassie, you can come with" He picks me up gently, carrying me upstairs, and knocking on the bedroom door.

Daniel answers the door and smiles at me.

"Hey, Cassie...Hey, Joey. What's up?"

"Cass just wanted to know if you wanted to watch Lost with us" Joey says and Daniel smiles wider.

"Sure! Let's head on down!"

Daniel follows us down the stairs, preparing popcorn with melted cheese before return to the two of us.

I'm in between the two older boys, my head in Daniel's lap and my legs on Joey's.

"Uh!" Joey says aloud, stopping the sudden flipping through the guide. "Look what's on!" My eyes flicker up, gasping and smiling wide as The X Factor appears on the telly.

"Home!" I call out mindlessly, reaching towards the popcorn.

"You like this show?" Daniel asks.

"I've seen every episode this season...even now I've been sneaking some on my phone"

"Who's your favorite contestant?"

"Brodie Kelley and Alien Undercover, but they both went home...so now it's Ché, I liked him before but now he's kinda my only hope" I shrug and Daniel traces his hands along my arms.

"Well, if your lucky, by the end of the night we might be able to get Joey to like Ché" He says.

"I don't know" Joey speaks up over the commercials. "He has to really impress me"

"He will!" I promise. "Ché is amazing and you'll love him!"

"We'll see about that...we'll see"