Hope (Harry Styles)

1.

Hold Me Down- Halsey

It was hot. And humid. Typical for August in Maine. Usually one would spend their day inside with the air conditioner going instead of being outside and melting. Though here I was, lugging camping gear and coolers down to the dock to be loaded onto the boat. This was against my will mind you. I'd rather be one of those people inside, but for a different reason than for the air conditioning.

My friend, Violet, who I love, thought it would be a good idea to go camping with her and her boyfriend Josh and also Mitch and his girlfriend Megan and Sean, who Is also my ex, but thinks I'm just confused and wants to get back together. He doesn't get that I wasn't feeling it. I needed to have that spark, that intensity I craved and he didn't have it. Luckily though we have been able to keep things civil between us, not making things awkward for us or the group.

We have all been friends since freshman year so it's not that I didn't want to spend the last week of freedom with them before we went back to school in Boston, I just didn't feel like doing much of anything.

Any other time I would have jumped at the chance to go camping, especially at Southarm Campground in Andover, Maine. They have remote campsites all around this giant lake that you have to take a boat to get to. It's absolutely beautiful and relaxing and like I said, I'd jump at the first chance to go, just not now.

Not after that night.

Violet, who is not a shrink, tells me that it's not good to mope around and that I need to start living my life again and to not dwell on the things I can't change.

I may not be able to change the past, but it's not going to stop me from wishing I could.

I'd do anything to have her back.

You see, five months ago I lost my best friend, Hope, because I carelessly let her drive home with her boyfriend, who I knew had a few to many drinks. I know deep down that she would have gone whether I begged her not to or not, but I could have tried harder. I shouldn't have let the fact that we had a fight stop me from being her friend.

I need to stop thinking about it. I don't need to have a breakdown and look like a complete idiot. I just needed to keep my mind occupied. So, here I was, against my will, sweating under the late August sun. At least we will have some breeze once we are on the boat and moving.

Josh got permission to use his fathers boat, as long as he promised no drinking while using it and to bring it back in one piece. I knew the first promise what shot as soon as he stepped into the boat and popped open a can of corona. Josh is a good guy, he is good for Violet, where she is outgoing and a little crazy, he is more laid back and collected. He was part of the football team at Boston University so he was popular but he never let that get to his head. He was a nice guy. He definitely opened up once he had a couple beers. He was tall and built, muscular. He had light brown hair, short and always slicked up into a sort of quiff. He had blue eyes and a sharp angular jaw and always had this mysterious look to him. He was rather good looking but wasn't my type. I don't even know if I had a type.

The last of the gear was loaded onto the boat and everyone grabbed a seat. I sat at the front of the boat, feet propped up on the cushion as I leaned back into the seat. I pop my earbuds in and press play on my phone, the sound of Halsey filling my head, letting me escape from this world, even if it's only for short while.

Soon we are off and I have the wind blowing in my hair, water splashing onto my legs and the sun beating down. I can already feel myself starting to relax.

Maybe this won't be such a bad idea.

~~~~~~

We make it to our campsite and once the boat is tied off we start unloading all of our gear. Melting away in the sun once again. At least after this I can jump in the lake to cool off.