Hope (Harry Styles)

41.

Abby's POV

I don't even remember the drive home, the only thing I remember was Violet and Megan holding my hand and saying soothing things to me. I couldn't focus on anything besides the ache in my chest. I hated myself right now. I felt like a complete loser. I just can't get over everything Evan said. It all made sense now though, the lack of interest in the things I did, his wandering eyes, his lack of concern about how I was having feelings for someone else. The large number of woman he had been with. I don't know why I didn't see it before. I mean, how could I not?

I found myself laying on my couch, my knees tucked under me. I wrap a blanket around me as Megan comes back from the kitchen with some tea. She sets down a mug in front of me before taking a seat by my feet.  Violet joins us a minute later with some snacks. She takes a seat on the floor in front of me, leaning up against the couch. I should talk to them, I haven't said a word since I asked to leave the bar. 

"Do you want to talk?" Violet asks softly, resting her hand on top of mine as they lay in my lap. 

"Um, I don't even know where to start," I bite my lip, finding myself at a loss for words.  They are going to think I'm an idiot. 

"Do you want to start by tell us what caused you to run off after you finished singing?" Megan asked hesitantly.

"Harry, he....I...everything came back, every feeling that I've tried to keep locked away for the past several months all came crashing back.  It was overwhelming and seeing him sitting there, looking at me the way he was, it was just to much," I explain, my voice rough from crying. I think I cried myself dry so I won't need to worry about crying anymore. 

"I'm sorry we pushed you into that," Violet said, leaning her head against my knee. 

"No, it's ok. I'm glad I did. Now I can finally admit to myself what I really want," I nod. That's one thing I feel good about, I'm no longer confused about what I want.  I want Harry.  No one else.  It will never work with anyone else because I am hopelessly and completely taken by Harry. 

"So you finally see that you and Harry belong together?" Violet sits up and looks me in the eyes.

"Yes, I do. I feel like a complete fool to have ended things with him. If I'd have known something like this was going to happen, that I'd lose the one person I feel so strongly about, that I was going to get used and hurt like this, I would never have done it. And if I didn't, I could have been happily singing on that stage tonight, not feeling nervous about singing a song that I wrote about Harry." I ramble on.

"Wait a second, let's back up a little.  First off, you are not a fool, you can't predict the future. And second, what do you mean by being used?" Violet sits up a little straighter, looking worried. 

"Evan. He wasn't even fazed when I told him about my feelings for Harry. When I questioned him about it he said that he didn't care, because our relationship wasn't going anywhere anyways. That he was just using me for sex pretty much, said I looked like fun the night he met me at Starbucks. Oh and he only kept it going for so long because I was good in bed," I grimace, feeling disgusted just talking about it. 

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Violet jumps up, face red with anger, her hands balled into fists. "That piece of shit better hope I don't run into him before we leave because I will beat the crap out of his sorry ass."

"Violet, sit down. I think I made myself pretty clear how I felt after he told me." I tell them about how I slapped him and shoved him back.  It was the first time I had ever slapped someone, it was kind of exhilarating now that I think about it.

"I can't believed you slapped him. He deserved worse but I suppose that will suffice. He better hope he don't see me though," she waves her fists in the air in a fighting position.